Happy Leap Year.

This post goes out to all the shop girls and reservation agents!!

Fucking Friday

Call your Mom and tell her you love her then plan a trip to a national park together for this summer. Get it together. Get a job. What the fuck are you doing? Let's see here. What is happening to today in downtown. We've got all kinds of great action going on. Has anyone been to South Park lately? Wow. That's going to be a nightmare on award nights and big sporting events, and mega concerts, but besides that, it's bitchin. J lounge. Crash Mansion. Tranquility Base.

Let's recap yesterday.
Lakers stuff it in Miami's face. Wow. 106 -88 Lakers!
The Edison Bar .35c martinis are STRONG. Not too many people and easy to get in. There really isn't a line. I wore sneakers. I could only drink one martini. Don't really like the gin version of the martini, but whatever. Jack and Cokes are only $6.00
Next is Crash Mansion where the SK 87 start at 10:00. They fill the dance floor on a Thursday in downtown. Gavin and his boys rock the stage and the free VODKA is enjoyed by a couple of my co-workers. Bounce, Rock, Roll is great live. Way better than the MYSPACE audio. They triumph through technical difficulties and keep the audience involved. Loads of fun. Gavin seems to be vomiting a little while he sings. Amazo.
Then back home and in bed to recharge for the next day.


Today: Don't do a god damn thing. Pick up that art project you've been thinking of for 2 years and flush it down the toilet. Fuck you old art project! I'll show you!! Okay, then start something brand new.

Thursday is for DEACON!!!

Crash Mansion.

Get ready. The 87 Stick up Kids are descending on Downtown for a good time. You are gonna love these guys. They're drunk. They're unruly, but boy do they put on a show. It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. Oh yea!

What else is going on today. The Lakers are playing somebody and we've got the good seats.

Get down there and Hollar at your boys!

Hmmmmmmmm. What else? Start dating a hooker. Start that novel. Go to strip clubs.

Wednesday is the day

Today is the day you are going to do everything you ever wanted to do! Oh no, you woke up late and you are still drunk. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Whiskey drinks. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Okay, get some water and then head out to catch some of the good stuff around here in Downtown. Ohhhhhhhh yea. Gentrification. Gone are the cheap easy thrills and they are being replaced with white people.

Get over to the LA opera and catch Otello. What else do you have to do? Maybe you could sniff around downtown and try to find some kind of space to do your thing. Oh there is so much room for you in downtown, if only you would just come down here.

Things are slow at the Dirty Hot Hotel, just how we like them. Start something exciting. Start a drug addiction or booze binge or something, buy an online video game and waste countless hours playing it.

See you on Worlds of Warcraft.

Library ALOUD series

Hey gang.
There's a couple things going on in Los Angeles Downtown tonight. Get over to the central Library to check out some of the action. We've got:
Susan Jacoby
The Age of American Unreason
In conversation with Jack Miles,Distinguished Professorof English and Religious Studies,UC Irvine.
From the author of Freethinkers, a dazzlingly insightful—and occasionally hilarious—analysis of the anti-rationalism, anti-intellectualism, and anti-scientism that increasingly characterizes the cultural and intellectual life of this country.

That should be a good time. Expand your horizons. Use your iphone to get a 2nd job. Then after half an hour, make a fool out of yourself exiting the reading. Fall over something. You've got to get to the Laker game down at the Staples Center. They're playing Portland. They're on a roll and you should get down there and scream for your team. That starts at 7:30. Enjoy the game. The best tickets I could find are $200 and I forgot where they're at.

After your done, head over to Tranquility base and have a drink

Urth Caffé and Tranquility base

What is going on my dudes and dudettes?

Well, I'll tell you one thing. I'm not opening an Italian Cafe with anybody. I might as well open a shipping company. Less hassle and more profit. I'm going to open a detective agency. Maybe an Art Gallery.

Get down to the Barker Lofts and enjoy some yummy food at the new Urth Caffe. What is going on around here? Downtown is really coming up. I wonder when some crazy homeless person is going to go berzerk and start killing people when they find out that the new downtown residents' animals are living better than they are. I can buy my dog a $4 dinner at Pussy and Pooch.

The new restaurant located on the ground level of Skylofts on Grand has opened. We have liftoff for Tranquility base. Get on down to South Park and enjoy the good food and fine drink. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Tranquility base.

What an exciting time to be alive.

Sunday Oasis

What?

Oasis? Playing at the rooftop at The Standard at Noon. Could it be true. Oasis having a secret party on the rooftop in the rain. Well. Don't tell anyone.

What else is going on. Nothing. Hmmmmmmm. The Oscars are happening. That's over there in Hollywood. In Downtown we have a whole lot of nothing.

News Flash - Bring an Umbrella

It's raining.

I'm totally buying a hotel in Mexico.

I'm going to call it stevies and not tell anyone where it's at.

Lakers vs Clippers

Get down here. The Lakers are playing the Clippers later. Around 7:30. I found tickets for $675 bucks. WOW!
Today is going to be a glorious day. The rain has stopped and you are all set to start your dreams. What is going on over here at the Dirty Hot Hotel. Well...The guest in room 720 slipped on some vomit last night and fell in it and got his jacket dirty. EEEEEEEWWW Gross! He was a little bit upset this morning.
What else happened? Is the super duper crack squad still upstairs or did we kick them out? Oh yea! They are still here. They've talked somebody into a per diem of $3K a day. Oh what kind of trouble will they get themselves into today?!? Mmmmmm. More Crack please.

Horoscopos De Durango Live at Nokia Theater 815pm

Conjunto Primavera Featuring Horoscopos De Durango at 8:15 tonight

Get down to the new Nokia Theater and bring your family. All ages welcome. Doors open at 7pm and the fun probably doesn't stop until 11pm. Of course you can probably party with some new cool friends at some tailgate party until everyone has to go back to work at 7am. Bring a large bottle of fine tequilla and share it with strangers and see what happens. Put on your best clothes and bring an umbrella just in case.

Come on crew, look at the name of the opening band. Dude! I'm gonna call my next band Horoscopes of Durango too! Viva Horoscopos De Durango.

Clippers vs Jazz

Wowzers! Look at this babe. Write me a comment about what first comes to your mind. Write a comment about anything damnit! More Comments!

Oh no. The Clippers are playing again. Get some tickets and love it. Get down to the Staples Center at 7:30 and get things going. You are going to love it here. You can get completely wasted, throwup, black out and sleep on the sidewalk outside the staples center. Everyone's doing it! It's the new rage. Street sleeping.

You'll need a waterproof tent and some Tecate. Make some new friends and buy an umbrella from a street vendor.

What else is happening in this lovely wet little downtown village.

Nothing. Get out while you can! Get out to Catalina. You'll love it out there. The ocean. The Fish and the Birds and all that nature. WOW!

Need Tix for Wicked?

We've got some tickets down here to see the 7pm show of Wicked. This is the place to be. I really just want to do things for guests in Downtown. I don't want to get you in to the hottest club in Hollywood. Go stay at a Hollywood Hotel. Honestly. Downtown is such a happening spot. Don't forget your .35 cent martinis over at Edison Bar. What else is going on. You've got a lot to do over there at REDCAT. It's the opening of ALASKA. Get in on it and love it. We also need to find out whats going on over there at the LA Opera. Otello is playing. WOWZERS! Get in on all that hot Shakespeare stuff.

I honestly don't know what I'm doing today. I'm working right now. Work Work Work.

Clippers vs Grizzlies

Hit the showers folks. Grab an Umbrella and buy Rihanna off itunes. What's .99 cents? I look outside the window and it's drizzling. It's gray and grayer, but I think I see a blue strip over there above the....nope, its all gray.

What else is there to do today? The Clippers are gonna get mauled by the Grizzlies. You need to get down there and help those guys beat up those Memphis punks. Don't forget the Clippers are your boys. We're all in this town together.

I'll never forget what a young Italian woman told me as we were walking around this large Italian town at the base of the Dolomites. She asks me what I do for a living and I tell her I'm a concierge at this hotel in Los Angeles. She tells me that LA is a region, not just a city. What I'm getting at here folks is LA is too fucking big for one dude. Soon I'll be ramped up to do this full time. But right now, this is all you get:

Maggie Nelson reads her book at the Redcat: Women The New York and other true abstractions

That's happening at 8:30.

Mucho Wednesday at La Cita

MOCA is collecting collections

LA library ALOUD series has pulled California Assemblyman Wille Brown. He's discussing his book called: Basic Brown: My life and our times.

Start drinking in any of our fine downtown hotels, starting at 6am. Good luck out there.

As for anything else. Try heading down to Lost Souls Cafe in Harlem Alley over there on 4th. Read the bulletin board.

Fools Gold and Lakers vs Hawks

Matthew and Goldies daughter are looking for Fools Gold over at the 4plex on Figueroa. The 4plex on fig and 4th. Why can't downtown have cooler abbreviations. Another thing New York has over us. So Ho and No Ho are way better than We Fig and you can't even do a Ea Fig. What is that? Damn New York! Fools Gold, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Jumper are playing.

Alright, let's see what's going on downtown today? Some stuff. We've missed the opening of Otello at the LA opera but it's playing until March 9th and the next show is Thursday. So pick out a Tux already!

Nokia Theater black out.

Oh and guess who's coming back to town? The Lakers. They've been gone forever. I can't even remember the Grammys, but that's when the Lakers got kicked out and put on the road and now they're back. The Lakers play the Hawks today at 7:30 and you'll be lucky enough to find one ticket at Ticketmaster for $140 bucks; it's behind the net too. Whatever. Get down there and do some dealing with the people on the street!! You can probably get a free t-shirt and everything. What a time you'll have!! The Lakers vs the Hawks! Watch out for the Talons!

The Redcat is gearing up for some major stuff. ALASKA is suppose to be amazo. That's in a couple days, today they are still dark too. Can you get a drink in the Lobby? Why don't you just chance it and take a walk over there. Swing by the DWP building and check out the fountains.

Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday.

If you're not going to see the Lakers then move out of LA. Go buy an affordable condo in Miami and start dating Dominicans, again.

MOCA is blasting away at you with Collecting Collections.

Do something different. Get the largest box you can find and head down to the Toy District and set up an office. Bring a pillow and an extra large bottle of Whiskey to share with all your new clients.

Car of the day

This is the car that one of the Hairstylist would buy if she won a couple million dollars

Harlem Globetrotters

What is going on?!?

Dude. Those guys from the Harlem got the balls and they're kicking ass. The game starts at 1:00.

Sunday Morning at the pool

Take this for objectionable content.

Whats going on today folks? Well, get down to the Convention Center for the Fit Expo and the Wealth rules expo. You can get fit and make a million bucks all in the same place. I was wondering why all these athletic types are walking around. They are pumped! Okay so the wealth expo is for junior high and high school students, but mabye you can still learn something.

As for the Fit Expo. It's going to be crazy, you can meet the American Gladiators and even try out. You'll probably get a black eye and some bruised ribs. Oh come on! It's worth it. Then you can come back and hang out with these lovely ladies at the pool.

Get going and get something started today.

Hooray for Saturday

Wow! You've made it another week. Did you forget anything? Yes, you forgot to pick up a commercial space at the Shyberry building on 6th and Spring and now they're all rented out. Soon there will be an Italian Restaurant on Spring. Yes, Yes, somebodies rented out 3 spaces and plans to have a go at it.

What else is going on Today. Russell Peters is doing his stand up act at the Nokia Theater. That should be funny. I can't believe I missed Willie Nelson. Damn it! What was I doing on Wednesday. WILLIE!!!!

Okay. You can also get all freaked out and go crazy and put on some spandex and head over to the Staples center for some WWE RAW. Bring a ladder or chair and you can smash it over your best friends head in the heat of all the action. Oh it's going to be a good time!! Whooooo!

Also you can walk over to the Redcat Theater and see the International Childrens Movie Festival, or something like that. 3 flicks today. Great theater, it's state of the art.

Walk around downtown and get into it man. Figure out what kind of business you're going to open in downtown and start something.

200th Post

That's right. 200. Mmmmmmmmmmm. Delish. I forgotten how to spell Deliscouscousous, stupid word, and my spell check hasn't been working since mid Jan. I'm even afraid to spell January. Yipes!

Well, Well, Well. I've got other work to do, so this is it.

35 Cent Martinis on Valentines Day!

Need I say more. If you haven't caught on yet, you really need too. Fall off the wagon one more time and come on over to the Edison bar. It's located in Harlem Alley downtown. Oh, it sounds so menacing, but it's not so bad. The bouncer is delightful and the hostesses are pretty. Let's do it folks, get down there at 4:30 and get in line. The doors open at 5pm. 35 cent martinis until 7 pm. It's massive this line. It wraps around 4 city blocks and takes on a life of it's own. Soon people will be heading down there to just wait in line. Hanging out, looking in the shops as they slowly move toward their destination; serviced by many a homeless asking for change or a rogue hot dog cart. Maybe it's only half the block, but still, the line is long and once you get inside, you'll say to yourself 'I'm glad I waited.'

There's also the speakeasy. You're on your own. Maybe you'll find it. Maybe you won't.

Happy Valentines Day:

For Valentines day I invite you all to read a romance novella I wrote called Venice Via Venice. It's a Time Travel Romance Novella that I turned into a Blook. Happy Valentines Day. Fall in love with something strange. Like a movie.

Check out http://www.veniceviavenice.blogspot.com/ for some hot Valentine action.

It's written in blook form so you have to find the oldest date and read from there. April 3rd is the oldest date. Enjoy. If you miss the launch of a blook it just looks wierd. Sitting there in cyberspace all backward. Enjoy.

Doggie Walk Day

That's right folks. I just got the lowdown on a little bit of fun for you and your doggie. Get to Pershing Square by 6:30 and meet up with some other downtown folk and walk around in a large pack of people and dogs. Should be a good time.

Don't forget to stop by Pussy and Pooch, located on 6th and Main, later to get your 4 legged friend a little treat for putting up with your ass living in a studio in a building in the middle of 4 freeways with no parks.

Wednesday Spectacular

Hello Downtown Denizens,

I know what you're asking yourself. What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26? The answers are in Tupacs music. Listen to some.

Let's find out what's going on today in downtown. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Well, let's get over that hangover and get you a date for tomorrow night. Take a walk down to IHOP on flower and 8th and get some breakfast. Thank heavens they don't serve alcohol over there. Try texting that stranger you met last weekend at that party. They don't have anything to do either.

Later tonight you can cruise to La Cita to listen to some latin pop at Mucho Wednesday. You can also hit up Crash Mansion where Umpharey's Mcgee is performing live with Dub Trio. You can also get in on some pre valentine action at The Mayan. Lucha VaVoom brings with it some masked Mexican wrestlers and a whole night of madness for you and your loved one. Of course theres all those bars owned by the same guy. Broadway Bar, Golden Gopher, Seven Grand.

Make a statement today. Visit some executives at your bank branch and complain about your savings account rate, make threats to pull out all your money and tell them you'll tell your friends too. Better yet, just get it together and put open a 401K at your job. Ask your human resources director about AFLAC.

love it! You're downtown!

Tipsy Tuesday

Bah! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh woe is me. Work. Work. Work. I'm going to have a freak out.

If only I could spend all day at the pool like some of our guests. That's the life. Not a care in the world and 3rd party billing is taking care of all your incidentals. You'd like another Long Island Ice Tea? Of course. Making plans to go out later tonight?

Well, Well, Well. First you'd better take a little nap. While the business world is in 5th gear right outside your window, you're in 1st gear. Life is good. Life is grand. Let's put on Oprah and fall asleep. Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Call down to the front desk and put in a wake up call for 7 o'clock and then head over to Takami Sushi and spend some big bucks. Oooooh Yea!

You could also try to get it together and walk down to Little Tokyo and get a pinkberry. Mmmmmmmmmmm Mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Let's not forget we have a 7-11 down here now. Look it up on your iphone and navigate the streets on foot. You should also sell your car and give the money away.

Let's see, what else?

Drugs? You don't need anymore drugs! Look what they've done to you. Sure Amy Winehouse can win 4 grammys and be out of her mind, but you, darling, are no Amy Winehouse. Start drinking near beer and figure out better ways to spend your time.

Big Monday

Take the day off.

I apparently did.  Oh it's good times over here at the Dirty Hot Hotel.  The staff is sick and unruly and you probably are going to get a room by the elevator.  

You're gonna love it.

I'm out of Downtown.  I've taken a little vacation to Hollywood and currently am sitting by the pool at the Chateau Marmont.

It's lovely here.  I think we've got John Belushi's old room.  Oh yea.

If you decide to stay in Downtown then head over to Charlie O's for Mustache Mondays and join the gang.

If you're depressed, remember that everyones got problems, it's just how you deal with those problems that make you who you are.  I know that doesn't help much for depression so swallow that little bit of advice with a Mai Tai.

Be good to yourself.

Grammy Tickets

I've got 4. They run $300 dollars a piece.
You'll also need a tuxedo or a really nice dress to go.

We've got all the main players.
Dull Real Knives are here. - Play on words
Adult Stone is here.
Ricky floor is here.
Trisha Greenpower is here.


Who else.

Monica got free tickets. We hate her.

Get down to the Staples Center before 4:45 PM. That's when the doors shut.
Enjoy it.

Shitfaced Saturday

You're off work.

Hell, you don't even have a job.

Listen to some 'Doors' and wake up this morning and grab yourself a beer!

What else is happening around here? Well, the new influx of hot young staff members has made things interesting. Oh they're in big trouble. They've got all kinds of kinks to work out. Those kinky little things.

The Grammy Awards are Tomorrow people. Everyone is staying in downtown. This is your chance to meet Amy Winehouse. Wait a sec. She couldn't get her visa. You probably will be

Failed Mobile Blogging Experiment

Yes! I've got the device. Now if I can just figure out how to use it. I'm still blogging from the mainframe back at home. Round 2 coming soon.

What else is there to do today? It's Friday night. Crash Mansion, The Mayan, Elevate, The Standard, Charlie O's, 328 Omar, J Lounge.
Go over to that fun little Cuban Restaurant by little Tokyo and have some of the 1.79 appetizers. Mmmmm. Then order a Mojito downtown and make plans for a taxi back to the hotel.

What else? You can swing by the FIDM outlet on Grand blvd and 9th or 8th, pick up a map by the way, and buy some clothes. You can also check out the exhibit on Academy award winning stuff, and some stuff that's not up for the awards. It's all pretty cool and the costumes for Sweeney Todd are really cool. Pick up some accesories on the way out and love it to death.

Long live the King!

Private Party Uncovered - Speakeasy

Can it be true. Is it really true?!? The speakeasy is back. Could it be the same. It's somewhere near the Alexandria down in the Historic Core. I don't know if I should give out the address. I mean, I get such massive hits on this blog and I could blow the whole operation.

Who am I kidding? I probably get 20 a day, and half are from me.

Is that a $25 dollar bill?!?!? Impossible!!?!? Oh, you just wrapped the five around the side and wow! that's a neat trick. Okay. Here's the address.

Somewhere Street.
$5 cover

The password:

I can't tell you the password.
Is that another $20?
Il party privato della signora topo

Has something to do with the Chinese New Year. Here comes the year of the Rat!

Rosencrantz comes to La Cita

Fun at La Cita later tonight

The guy from 'she wants revenge' will be there.

DJ COOKIE BROWNIE is scheduled. Here's the flyer.

Get Psyched for Martini Thursdays

I'm gonna make a bar by block map in the back hallway on the dry erase board.

across the street = library bar, pinot cafe, daily grill, downstairs mall.

1 block = Caseys Irish Bar and grill, Watergrill cafe, Hilton checkers, Takami/Elevate

2 blocks= Ciudad, Bonaventure restaurants: Bonavista lounge..., Wilshire Grand restaurants: Kyoto..., Biltmore restaurants: Sai Sai, Smereldas..., Cicada, Seven Grand,

3 blocks= nobody will walk 3 blocks in L.A. if they're up for an adventure, tell them to find the Seafood restaurant at the top of the library steps or go buy a subway and then eat it on the street somewhere.

4 blocks= Broadway bar, Cliffords, The Pantry, I'm sure they're others but I can't remember

Taxi= Edison, Olvera Street, Chinatown, Little Tokyo, Blossom, Petes

Whatever.

Stupid project took me over an hour.

On with life and this blog. Start early. In fact don't even go to sleep. Stay up with your boyfriend and make him tell you about palm springs while you smoke meth together. How did you think he got that hole in his lung. Well, you'll always have that condo. What else is happening?

Rad things like these babes! Get some for yourself.

You can also never forget. This happy hour thing has caught on over at the Edison and there are massive lines. Get there early. I'm going down there whenever I finish this blog; which could be never. Remember: EDISON HAPPY HOUR 1910 PRICES!!..! I really need a mobile blogging device because then I would be waiting there already. I could be the first one in line, if only I had a iphone.

What else. I'm sure theres something at all those damn Museums and Theaters up on Grand. They're always changing artists. This week it's Tristan and Isolde and Mahlers Sixth. Moca is closed due to someone installing the installation. Enjoy.

GoodMorning.

The Donnas descend on Crash Mansion

Oh YEA! The Donnas ROCK! They're putting on a show at Crash Mansion tonight for $15 bucks presale and $18 bucks at the door. Show up early and leave your knives at home. Walk up Grand and get a drink at Hanks Bar inside the Stillwell hotel.

A METAL TRIBUTE TO THE BEE GEES!!!

"Tragedy, when the feelings gone and you can't move on, it's a tragedy!"

I wonder if those girls can hit those notes!! Andy Gibb could really take it up there.

What else is happening today in downtown? Panhandling. Drug Abuse. Gentrification. Prostitution. Come on down here and get involved with something. Bring a loved one and a thick blanket and spend the night on the street. Nobodies gonna fuck with you! All these homeless people that you're afraid of, are just as scared of you and what you stand for. Bring a large bag of drugs and share it with some new found friends, and just pass out on the sidewalk in the financial district, or don't.

Stay at home in West Hollywood and complain about how you're not getting the amount of tips you deserve at Geisha house. BTW. I can tell your boyfriend is abusing Meth. The way he clenches his jaw, and talks with razor sharp wit about nothing. You should dump him! He's probably still sleeping with that guy you met from Palm Springs.

Central Library Action

Tonights reading is with some Cat from N.Y.
Get there at 7pm for the fun.

David Rieff
Swimming in a Sea of Death: A Son’s Memoir
In conversation with Tim Rutten,Los Angeles Times columnist
The author's mother, Susan Sontag, died of a particularly acute form of leukemia in 2004. "This," he writes, "is a book of questions about what we know and, perhaps more importantly, what we can take in when confronted by the death of a loved one."

Super Tuesday

Get out there and VOTE!

Let's help those Indians get some more Slot Machines. I think the Indians should get whatever they want. Why do we have to approve stuff?

What else is there to do today. You can sit at home in front of the TV and watch CNN or whatever channel tickles your fancy. Wait for those results to come in.

It's Tuesday here in Downtown and things are strange. SB lofts on 6th and Spring are renting out their commercial space at the bottom of the building for about $3 a square foot.

About 3 months ago, I was talking to some guys in the Alexandria building about renting commercial space and it was around $1.75 a square foot.

Be progressive and start a business!!

Big Monday

Some superduper co-stars from the hotel are going to Mustache Mondays at Charlie O's tonight. It's suppose to be the new Tiger Heat. So yea, if you're a girl and afraid of straight men, or a gay man and love gay men then Mustache Mondays at CHarlie O's is perfect for you. Charles Bukowskis spirit will be there.

Wear a fake Mustache and love it!!!

Dance to New Order!!

Valet Football Predictions

The Giants cover the spread and over.

It's gonna be a blast and you'll win tons of money.

Superbowl

You're gonna love it. The Patriots are totally gonna slaughter the Giants. Don't bet that 13 point spread. You'll be sorry. Oh, its going to be fun.

You can check it out on the Standard Rooftop! The party starts there around Noon. You can watch the game from the swimming pool and get rained on!!

Head over to Caseys Irish Bar and Grill if you don't want to get wet.

They're probably gonna have something inside the top level of the Westin Bonaventure. For all the TVs they have in the lobby, I'm sure you can watch it in the lobby.

Toy District and Warehouse District

Go to lunch at the Royal Clayton. Wander the Biscuit Company Lofts and try to figure out how you are going to afford one of these bad boys.

You'll have to go in with someone. Who has $700K to spend on a condo?!?

Not much else to do, except check out the new version of Hamlet performed by the Wooster group. Those cats from New York are entertainment! It's happening at the Redcat.

February

How do you spell that? What the funk is going on downtown?!?

Well. Nothing.

Today is a perfect day to get the hell out of downtown. Oh yea!! Head down to the beach. If your a homeless person, you don't have to bring your blankie, because all that sand down there is just waiting for you. Take the blue line to Long Beach.

Buy a condo. You know that's all you can afford in California. Or you can move back to Kansas and get a mansion for $10 dollars.

Remember to brush your hair and teeth and take a shower and buy a skateboard.