halloween

Oh no you didn't
You made all the employees dress up and then you didn't

Kudos to the design team for the Royal Tenenbaums.
The Front desk comes in a close 2nd
Rounded out by the ghouls in Rudys hair salon.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh scary. What kind of fun are we going to have today? Well if your anyone, you're stopping by the Green Door for Heidi and Seals party and then going up Laurel Canyon for some fun at the Zappa/Houdini/Imarobot house.

Other things to do...Come on down to the Standard to get your ghoulish groove on. Crazy bananas and so forth.

Twos on a Tues

Greetings public and some in private...

Today you need to just double it up. Usually have one coffee? Today you gotta have two. At the bar later tonight you can scream out shit like 'Make it a double Sammy'.

What I'm really gettin at is that if you do a half ass job every day, today you'll be fine. Plus your back downtown and what else can you do but give it all you got. Fucking Downtown. The business men are out and about and the breeze is blowing thru some greasy bums hair in Pershing Square. Don't forget to take your doggie out for a walk and kick some of the homeless off the Quimby funds. Okay, maybe I'm wrong but it feels so right. The homeless aren't responsible for napping on every piece of grass, it's our Mayor Villaragosa, him and his harlots and I'd vote for him again, you know. Shit, so if anyone finds some Quimby funds, you just leave a comment.

Then go inside and hide cuz starting at Ten or Eleven o'clock the homeless can sleep 10 feet from your door. Or head over to the Central Library and catch some great authors at the ALOUD thing. Tonight at 7pm

Maira Kalman
The Principles of Uncertainty
Illustrations, Parables, Films.In conversation with Louise Steinman, author and curator, ALOUD
"The illustrator, author and designer—known for her many New Yorker covers (including the famous map of “Newyorkistan”)—contends with existential questions like: “What is identity?” “Why do we fight wars?” “Why do hearts break in February and why do some people have a hankering for a dodo sandwich?” Note: you are encouraged to wear your favorite hat to this program."

Monday blues?

Do you have a bad case of the Monday blues? If so, you should start drinking and get the fuck out of town. Hey!

Wake up early and take a ride to Palm Springs at 100mph. You can get there in an hour.

Spend the day by the pool at the Dirty Hot Hotel Palm Springs and enjoy the good life. Oh wait! We havn't built it yet, so just pick any old place. Midnight Check in is always fun and tip well for crying out loud. You want people to take care of you or what? Spend up until midday at the pool and maybe go to the spa, but stay away from those Casino's, you betting fool.

Love is in the air so go see the movie 'Control' about Ian Curtis, Bernard, Peter and whoever the drummer is. Filmed by Anton Corbijn in black and white. It's lovely. You can see it at 5:00 or 7:00 or 9:00 at some theater in Palm Desert, I forget so just askthe concierge to look it up and print out a map. Don't forget to tip.

Sunday Football - Redskins Vs. Patriots

You've lost a ton of money already by betting on the Rockies lately. Just let this weekend go and try not to gamble. Get out of town for crying out loud. If you stay downtown all the time you'll lose your mind. Take a vacation to some Southern California vacation spots.

Palm Springs
Las Vegas - Maybe not Las Vegas if you like to gamble so much.
Baja California
Yosemite

Far enough away for fun but close enough for the weekend warrior.
Fuck you trust fund babies.

The Redskins vs. The Patriots can be seen at the top floor of the Bonaventure hotel in the Bonavista lounge.

$25

"A good blowjob is worth at least $25." Some guy from Long Beach says.

"Aren't you afraid they might freak out and bite your cock?"

"No, cuz," He gets closer, "You have to pay them at the end."

It all made perfect sense. I could navigate the prostitute waters in Long Beach now. I learn so much working in Hotels.

Saturday Night

Looks like the rooftop at the Standard is pumping.
Come enjoy the lobby or head off to Monster Massive at the Los Angeles Sports Arena.

Judy has been eating way too many chocolate covered coffee beans. The way to our managers heart is really fire hot flavored chips, but that's another story.


Doggie Awards:
The best doggie award goes to Rebecca. Has everyone seen the coat on that German Shepard. The weimaraner was super shiny too. Second is the two poodles dressed as clowns which goes to the fantastic English couple on the 4th floor. 3rd goes to some guy Judy was hitting on.

Big Friday

Tonight...Tonight...Tonight.

The Clippers play the Warriors at the Staples center.

You can catch 'Point Break' at Charlie O's @ 8pm.

Of course all you want to do is drink and so come on down to the Standard to start your night right. Drinks in the lobby are always available and the billard table is free to use. You can also find Cracky the Pirate somewhere outside and buy a $4- bag of dirt weed. Feel free to lounge on the largest couch in the world and plan out your attack on Downtown Los Angeles. Don't ask to go upstairs cuz we'll probably tell you no.

Swing by the front desk and give us some money for looking good!

Enjoy your life because today may be your last day.

World Series?!? Rockies vs. Red Sox

Go out and buy a mask for all the filthy dirty air. Welcome to the future. High prices and a lousy environment. Oh, but you can forget about the planet for a day, like you do everyday and get all lost in the World Series. Colorado Rockies vs. Boston Red Sox.

Visit the top floor of the Westin Bonaventure Hotel and get trashed and watch the game at the Bonavista lounge. You can also get a good view of all the wild fires.

Boring Tuesdays

Not doing too much today?

Take that pooch out for a nice walk and look for the Quimby funds. You can also start getting drunk at 6am in the Standard Restaurant. Wander over to the front desk and get a room and spend the rest of the day up at the pool. Rates start at $225.

Is the yellow haze getting you down. Wear a mask while your sunbathing and swimming, all this smoke in the air is bad for you; but you smoke like a chimney anyhow, so maybe just lay off the cigarettes until the wildfires are over and you won't need that mask.

Lunch at Carls Jr. and then grab a piece of cardboard and set up shop for a couple hours at 7th and Hope, next to the girl with the cat. You can have a competition to see who makes more money, but in the end you should give her everything you make.

Wander the city streets, turning around whenever you run into a freeway. Buy drugs at random, and find new friends to smoke them with. Remember to stay alert, the moment you doze off, you'll get ripped off and raped.

This evening you can visit the Walt Disney Concert Hall and listen to the International Youth Orchestra Festival:Sibelius Academy Symphony Orchestra. The music starts at 8pm and tickets run anywhere from $21 to $50.

Then get back to your hotel room and take a shower, you dirty dirty thing.

All time record broken

T breaks all time record for using 'Daddy' in a sentence.

Sources close to T say: he used it as a verb, noun, adjective and then went into a prepositional phrase that blew the roof up.

"I think I heard it 33 times, but I can't be sure." An employee, who refuses to be named because of her recently signed confidentiality agreement, was in tears of joy.

Big Monday Fun

Visit the LA Central Library and listen to a reading at 7 p.m.: Edmund White discusses “Hotel de Dream: A New York Novel,” the story of the true-life affair between Stephen Crane and the woman known as his wife.

You can also start getting drunk at 4pm at Seven Grand. Drinks are happy hour prices all day.

Don't forget to walk your dog! Then maybe cruise Santee Alley and buy some Pirated DVD's if you can find them.

Sunday Football - Redskins Vs. Cardinals

Go catch the game at Casey's bar and grill. Located on 613 S. Grand. Park for $5 at the underground parking lot in the dead end on Hope St. and the Library. Take a nice little walk down the block.

Then wander the Jewelry district and buy your mistress some diamonds.

Saturday parties

Standard rooftop reached capacity at 10:30. Don't bother coming here. Go check out whoevers playing at the smell. Check out the lobby bar maybe. Visit the art district and heckle some bum gangs. Do something different for christs sake, something other than buying expensive drinks and driving home drunk, again. Go out and buy some beer in a papersack and sneak it into the Vibiana Church and get shitfaced. Visit 626 Reserve on Spring St. Don't be such a pussy.


Music

Art

Movies

Bars

Literature/Plays

$20

She tipped me a $20 just to watch her.

$10

"Here's $10bucks." She stuffs it in my pocket.
"Okay, but don't tell anybody I did this," I gasp, "You don't have herpes do you?"
"No."
She lays on the bed and spreads her legs, almost kicking me in the face in the process. The new Radiohead album plays in the background.
"This furniture is perfect for fucking" She screams.

Dirty Boys

They're the dirty boys. We hire them to do all the things that you can't and even if you could, you wouldn't. I have em on speed dial. It's a good time.

The dirty boys.