Lakers Vs. Timberwolves

Are you kidding you've got nothing to do tonight. First the lakers vs. timberwolves at the staples center at 7:30. Get into the shower right now. Take that beer with you. Don't forget to wash your hair with a little. Then take that fucking dog out for a walk.

Gossip and revel in your foes blunders.
Then send flowers.

Lock the dog back up in his 3000 sq. ft. dungeon and out you go. 7 Grand opens at 4pm and you should really chase that beer with a whiskey. Then make your way to Cliftons, I mean who do you really think you are, and get some cafeteria food. Fucking preppys.

After the game you should go to the Wiltern to check out MIA
You should have bought tickets already. Maybe you could check them out at the Seattle show. There are tickets on EBay for $159 for 2. If no tickets, don't fear, you can just hang outside and start an outside concert culture. Go to the events, but don't go inside and just hang out and pass out fliers and make some goo balls and buy a van and blast trance music from some speakers built into the mural on the side. Then drive over to the Orpheum theater to mess around outside while Ben Harper plays inside.

Turkey in November?!?

Fuck it! I just clocked a round trip to Istanbul, historically Byzantium then later Constantinople, Turkey for $1486 including taxes and fees. That does not include my tip. Ahem. You leave tomorrow at 3:40pm and arrive on Saturday at 10pm.
Ahhhhhhhhhh take a breath, That's the eastern hemisphere your breathing in.
Take a shower at the hotel and then get out to catch the legendary Byzantium nightlife. Fuck it buy some drugs!! You are gonna love Turkey for the weekend. Force yourself to sleep for 6 hours Sunday morning and then spend all day Sunday freaked out and having a delusional time on a rental scooter. Party thru till Monday when your flight leaves at 10:45am. You can sleep on the plane. Just pin a note to yourself, so someone can help you catch your connection in Egypt. You'll get back in LA at 6:50pm with just enough time to only be about 10 hours late to work.

Broadway blvd fun.

Start on 9th street and head north.

I found an Arcade, a great place to buy meth and heroin. Purchase at your own peril. I prefer to just play some video games. Raiden II stole my quarter.

Then keep trucking north and you'll see tons of supercheap places to buy electronics and workboots.

Then stop in for lunch at Cliftons Cafeteria.

I was also chased half a block by a guy in a wheelchair.

Thursday Art Walk - Stay focused

Starts at Noon. Goes until 9pm. Get your lazy butt out of the Financial District and make your way over to the Art District. Click on this link for more info.

http://www.Downtownartwalk.com

You can also check out the book readings at ALOUD: Tonight is:

Dr. Craig Venter
A Life Decoded
"In conversation with Dr. Michael W. Quick, Professor of Biological Sciences at USC
A riveting account of the unparalleled drama of the quest for the human genome by the scientist who went on to be the first to read and interpret his own genome."

Also: There are still tickets for the Maroon 5 concert. They've been clocked around $65. Section 105.

Lakers Vs. Hornets.

Game starts at 7:30 and check in is at 3. Come on down and get a room for the night. Rooms start at $225.

Tix for the game have been clocked at $240 bucks for section 101 row 8. Half Court. Not bad.

Wear your favorite stuff and get so excited that you have to vomit. Now you're ready to go. Those Lakers are fun to watch. Will Jack be there? I don't know, you could possibly be 8 rows behind him if your the lucky ticketmaster.

What the fuck with the ticketmaster monopoly anyway? Is it just me. Should I shut up? Does ticketmaster have people to break my legs?!? Ouch. Okay, whatever, ticketmaster is cool.

So yea.

Love it or leave it.

Oh god its Monday

Rent a limo and go to Las Vegas for the day. Come down to the front desk and talk to me. I just rented these other cats a limo to Vegas, So why not you. I love it, you love it. We have so much in common. Oh I wish I could go, but I'm sure you'll have fun without me.
Okay, so sex, drugs, drinking, and smoking in the car on the way to Vegas. It's worth $2000. Sure it is. Then when you get to Vegas: Gamble your Brains out at the Dirty Hot Hotel Las Vegas!!! Whooooooooooooooooooooo. Wait a sec. We havn't built it yet, so just pick anyplace (Hint: the Tropicana has the most beautiful pool.)
Leave Vegas around 5pm and get back into Downtown Los Angeles just in time for Mustache Mondays at the Crash Mansion. It's on Grand and Olympic. Remember when it was the Shark Club in '94 and you took too many drugs; so we stayed for 3 days. Do you remember?

Mustache Mondays: Uber hottie-ville with all your gay friends 10pm-2am

Sunday Football. Redskins vs. Jets

Come on Jason Campbell. Lets get that running game going. If you lose, I'm gonna become a cowboys fan. They brought the running game and so much more. They ran for 296 yards. Portis ran for 196. They barely won this squeeker in OT. They even lost the coin. In the end Suisham made the kick from something like 46 yards, with a final score of 23-20 Redskins. That improves their record to 5-3. What a game.

USC football

Well. Well. Well. You're drunk again. Don't be so hard on yourself. Every team has to lose some time. I know you gave me a charlie horse last time I said that, but it's true. Stop thinking about rankings for oncea and just enjoy your homecoming. Alright. Call a taxi service and put some clothes on. You can just catch one at the cab stand if you're staying in the hotel. If not, you should be. Come on down, we've got rooms starting at $225.

So where were we...okay, you're dressed now and it's time to go to your homecoming at the Colosseum. It's just south of Downtown. Take a cab. You're just gonna get drunker at the game. If you leave now, you can listen to the game on the radio and easily make it by the 2nd half. It's only a five minute drive. You might even make the 1st half. The score is still 0-0.

After the game, come back to the hotel and take a nap for crying out loud.

It's Friday?!?

Yes. We all know that you partied too hard on Wednesday night, the ecstasy probably just wore off. Hmmmmmmmmmm. What are you going to do tonight???

Well, start drinking. Buy yourself a six pack and pound half of em and then start drunk dialing some good old friends from highschool and make up incredible lies about yourself. You bought a house before the boom in 1999 and you've married a prince/princess of Madagascar. Then head over to Chinatown and catch SK 87 at the Mountain Bar. Should be fun.

Whatever. Make it interesting.

After you finish that six pack you can head on over to the Staples center and root for the Clippers vs. The Golden State Warriors. Let's all embrace the other Los Angeles Basketball team.

The Day After Halloween

Don't get fired.
Pamper yourself.
Order some hookers to your room/apt/loft/house and just pay them for a massage. There is no need to worry about the happy ending with these dirty whores. Be sure to wear a condom or have your hooker wear one if you want to get really dirty dirty; whatever your gender may be. Some plastic wrap can also be very exciting, but nothing beats a condom, so just wear it.


Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

What else. At 8:30 you can make your way over to the Redcat theater to catch Sandeep Bhagwati and get into it man. Tickets cost around $25 dollars for general admission and Students get $5 off.

Love it or leave it.