'101 Dirty Hot Hotel Stories' hits the Kindle Charts

101 Dirty Hot Hotel Stories

Run your mouse over the cover until you see the hand and then click the pages forward.

As of today:

#20 in	Kindle Store > Kindle Books > Travel > General > Food & Lodging > Hotels & Inns
#25 in	Kindle Store > Kindle Books > Business & Investing > Industries & Professions > Hospitality, Travel & Tourism
#77 in	Books > Travel > Reference & Tips > Food & Lodging > Hotels & Inns

Missouri or New Mexico?

Hello Eager Readers.

I've tried unsuccessfully to buy 2 motels. One was in Missouri. A 10 room property in the ozarks that pulls in 100K a year. Needed 50K to kickstart that one. Nobody has it.

Then there is the place in Aztec, New Mexico and the owner says he might go down to the bank with me and sign a note on it for a down payment for the property and that's just what I might do. I don't have any money to put anything down, so I gotta go with the flow.

I'm reading this book on how to make some dough, and they talk about opening a hotel.

Can't wait to get this one started. I've got my fearless friends to thank also. Happy Holidays everyone and also don't forget that it's Festivus. That strange holiday where all you need to do is set up a metal pole, air your grievences and show a feat of strength. That's a fun Holiday. Festivus is always on the 23rd of December. Some might even call it the 10th day of Christmas.

Happy Holidays to everyone!!

Italian Marriage

The happy couple

Silversun pickup show or Venice Via Venice + Snuggie

Venice via Venice

November? What happened?

Get ready for the Holidays folks! Although It's still a little early for your Christmas tree, you can still get out there and go crazy on Thanksgiving stuff. This post brings up the question: When is a good time to buy a Christmas tree? A good tree that's properly watered can last 4 weeks. You shouldn't be looking at a tree until December. Of course you can always head on out and decorate a small neighborhood tree. If you're out in the desert, maybe you can decorate a cactus.

Happy Holidays to Berlin!!

Get ready for Halloween

A day at the studio.
Ash freaks out.
Max freaks out.
Heather freaks out.

I try to get some people to do something. We try to do some other stuff.

They are doing nothing?!?
Secrets.

There are Secrets and bets have been made that in 2 weeks the studio will shut down. I think it might.

స్క్యస్క్రాపెర్

Skyscraper Series 1A Space-Engine DSS Los Angeles

Good Morning Los Angeles

Getting things up and running at an E-publishing house is no small task, but it's going pretty smooth. Building my database of customers and building my brand identity and it's all so tiring. So many good titles, but only the non-fiction has had a breakout. The bulk of books here are fiction.

Ciao Ciao. Look in the coming weeks for pictures from Italy on here.

Ciao.

Chek check cezch it out

Shannon has a new blog

The girls from Tokyo have a new blog.

Access thru sidebar.

fun

A little something fun I did for the girls at horaconfessions.blogspot.com

Writing the best ever 'click and continue' novellas

or maybe...










Gotta think about copywriting that thing. Think I'll work on that tomorrow. So far we have a lot of great ideas floating around The Trashy Novel Corp. One is starting a Christian erotic series, a Muslim erotic series, and a Buddhist erotic series. We are going to rock and roll this stuff out. Another is our 'click and continue' series. Should really get that copywrited.

One of our cover ideas.

Get out with Depeche Mode

Forget about it guys. Take a couple years off and REST! Why do they have to tour every year and Dave ends up canceling a ton of shows?

Check out 'Ship of Fools'

Ship of Fools

Snow Owl with What Font?

Happy Late 4th of July

Hope everyone is feeling patriotic. Even if you are in Berlin.

What have we got going over here? Not too much. I'm trying to find Japanese translators that I can trust. I'm going down to Little Tokyo to post some job postings.

Let's do another funny picture.

The Snow Owl

Michael Jacksons Funeral - outside the gates

Goodbye June

This is it. The last day. I'm writing to you in the final hours of June 30th. Quite a day. I got up at 5:30 and got ready for work. Now I'm listening to an ambient pandora radio station. I sit here in my underwear from the fifth floor of a 14 story building in Downtown Los Angeles. I need to get a life. What am I doing here at 9pm on a Wednesday night. Feel like such a loser. Wish I had a life.

Hey Amanda. Can you get me someone to translate or can you do it yourself? I'm going to facebook you. I want to do a german book tour but I need to translate all my stuff into German first. THings will be great.

So Yes, June. Michael Jackson, first of all and what don't anyone forget David Carradine. I'm not even sure if that's how you spell the name, let me check...bingo.

Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett inbetween. What a heavy duty month for Hollywood. I don't think we will be the same for a long long time or at least until Michael Jacksons nephew dethrones Justin MickeyMouseClub Timberlake and the universe is back in balance again.

Whatever people. I'm not here to read the stars. I'm here to give a preview of some of the things I've got to do now that I've opened the Trashy Novel Corp. I am looking forward to a busy July full of translating stories into Japanese and acquiring the start up capital needed to start this venture.



btw...this is the new logo with not so crazy హైర్ఫెఅతేర్స్, బట్

Hello WOrld

Let's stay focused for the summer people.

Venice via Venice

Jean Marc

The Race

The Lofty Riches

Space Academy

The Trashy Novel Corp Logo

New Zealand Trance

Gigantic Golden Buddhas

I've got nothing but a giant gold statue of buddha that I have to go see in Thailand. Is that the closest giant golden buddha? I need to get there.

Go Amanda!

Can't believe you bought the book. I'm soooo stoked they're still selling it. Ahahahaha!~ Alright my dearest deary! You have to write a critical essay on it and I'll post it here. Soooooo stoked somebody can read it.

Chapter 20

Out of bed by 5:30 and into the cold shower. Damn this loft living isn't all its cracked up to be. Several converts are sleeping on the couches as Stevie grabs his keys, wallet and some bus change and heads out the door.

Stevie walks quickly to the corner and spots the 720 rumbling up the street. It's not going to pass him by so he doesn't have to sprint but trots up 5th street to the bus stop. A few revelers have started the party early, like a couple days ago now and they heckle everyone at the bus stop and ask for money.

The bus finally pulls up. Everyone swarms the door and people bottleneck it through until every ones on and paid and in their seat. Chit chatter between seats and in the aisle. People excited about 2009 being everything it can be and more. A new president. A new hope.

The bus lurches to a stop to pick some people up at the Crenshaw stop. The doors flap back shut once everyone is on and then it starts to go, then lurches to a stop again. Sections of people groan. The driver almost forgot a handicapped man that is sneaking around the bus stop as timid as a mouse.
"You need a ride?" The driver screams out the door.
"Yea, I'm going to the VA." The man says.

So the sirens come on and the bridge extends to the sidewalk, the front row of people have to get up to make room. One handicapped person can displace up to 5 fat people. So those five fat people get up and make their way to other seats in the back. The man wheels on and clips in and the bridge comes back in and the sirens stop.

The doors close.

The bus continues quietly into Beverly Hills. Stevie dozes off a little bit and wakes just in time to get off at Santa Monica and Wilshire. He wipes the sleep out of his eyes and clutches his backpack full of pamphlets, documents and gold leafed declarations. Stevie clocks in and immediately takes the stairs up to see the anti-social Italians on the top floor.

The daughter and son are standing in the hallway and looked surprised to see Stevie.
"Bon giorno."
"Bon giorno."
"Bon giorno."
Stevie hands out his business plan and some pamphlets and the gold leafed declarations.
"Call me and let me know." Stevie makes a hand gesture like a phone and holds it to his ear.

The two siblings stay quiet until Stevie leaves the floor and then they dig through all the Stevieland stuff.

The front desk sucks. An old couple wants to know how much things cost. Every things too expensive. Then the phone rings. It's the top floor.
"Get the bus, put it on our credit card and let's get going." The Italian girls speaks perfect English.

Stevie stays on the line and waits to hear the phone click and it does. AC is taking a reservation in the chair next to him at the desk. He hangs up both phones; one at a time and then he tells AC whats happening. They don't need to work for anybody else anymore.
"Dude, I can totally resign right now."
"We are totally resigning and I'll order the bus while you write our resignation letters." Stevie says.
"Okay! Yes! I've been waiting for this for so long," AC says, "I'm going to call Ruth and Ben."
"Just facebook everyone to get ready and pack one suitcase and put together their salvation kit." Stevie says.
"Good idea!" AC types away, "What kind of bus are we going to rent?"
"No, not rent, we buy!"
"Of course we buy!"

AC types up the letter and Stevie calls RV shops and a couple Bus Depots and gets the word on the street. Within ten minutes a guy calls back from a craigslist ad that's letting a 50 seater with full bedroom go for 200K cash; and with an American Express guarantee of a payout at any local Western Union today, the deal was done.

The Italian girl comes down to the front desk. She's dipped in Dolce&Gabbana and throws some Louis Vutton hand bags on the desk.
"Get me the Ferrari! Let's Go!" She says.
Stevie grabs the keys out of the valet box and runs out to the carriage house and clicks the lock from the key chain. It's black and fast.

The Italian girl adjusts her clothes and walks out front when she hears Stevie start the car. The car pull ups and she stops Stevie from getting out. She pushes him into the passenger seat and throws her bags in his lap. Then she peels out.
"Wait, what about the bus." he says.
"That's for your followers, we take the Ferrari!" she says.

Chapter 19

Stevie waits for the bus at 6am with everyone else out on the sidewalk at the intersection of 5th and Broadway. The fleets of 720 Rapid Metro buses have been deployed this morning, just like every other, to shuffle the people to and from their daily stuff.

A bright one with some zip pulls into the stop and everyone piles on. Stevie pays his $1.25 and finds a colorful seat in the front section.

It hums and blasts through the signal. It's fully up to speed and runs through a lot of red lights. Each stop is maybe 15 blocks from each other, and a sense of urgency is satisfied just by riding the 720.

AC and Ben get on at Western and elbow their way through the crowd to Stevie. Chit chatting about life in general and maybe getting one of the rich Italians that took over the 4th floor to fund the operation. It's a great idea and Stevie jots down some notes to make it happen. He scribbles down some notes on making a flier about investing in a secluded Desert Resort. He brainstorms with AC and Ben as they make their way into Beverly Hills. The bus stops at Santa Monica and they all get off, along with maybe ten other people.

They Scheme on how to seperate the weakest link of the family, maybe one of the children. How to go about it as if the child was in complete control. Stevie assures them that when the time comes, he'll work his magic; he's an aspiring cult leader and if he can't covert one of these rich Italians then what good is he?

They clock in. Work sucks. The Italian family stays hidden. They clock out. The bus ride home is unmemorable. It's Christmas.

Chapter 18

Stevie gets up at 5:30 and puts on some electro. A couple sleeps on a chic couch on the other side of the loft space. Stevie met them at a bar down the street and they had no place to go. He showers and shaves and the couple is up and dressed when he gets out of the shower.

They leave the loft together and the couple offers to drive him to work. Before you know it they're off in a old Corvette. It's a 1987 coupe model. The girl and Stevie have to sit toboggan style in the passenger seat but its still a little slice of heaven. Aqua blue with matching leather interior. Chad starts the car and turns up the radio. It's rock-n-roll and he peels out as they take 6th street all the way to Fairfax and then cut over to Wilshire and blasts past all the buses and other cars. They get to The Baron in fifteen minutes.

He says goodbye to Chad and Amy and the blue leather Corvette. They take a couple pamphlets and a manifesto and promise to keep in touch via email. Stevie clocks in and finds out a strange introverted Italian family bought the fourth floor for a couple weeks. They want nobody to ever, ever, ever come to the floor. No maids. Nobody. They paid up front with cash and say they will call down if they need anything. It's actually their secretary that tells the front desk this. Stevie clocks out.

The bus ride home is no Corvette through Hancock Park.

chapter 17

The bus rattles and pops down the street. Stevie dozes off in the warm air and has a dream. The bus is moving faster and faster down the street. Its picking up more speed. Its moving way too fast. Stevie looks around the bus. Nobody seems that concerned. A cute Mexican couple snuggles in the back seats another man reads a newspaper. Some people are reading Stevies pamphlets and manifesto.

The bus suddenly grows wings. Terradactyl wings. Massive wings that help the bus lift up off Wilshire.

Stevie looks around.

The couple quietly looks out the window. People continue their phone conversations. Stevie gets out of his seat and walks to the front of the bus.
"Stay behind the yellow line." The bus driver says.
"Where are we going?" Stevie asks.
"Arcosanti is dead, we're going to Stevie land." The bus driver says.
"Good." Stevie says and looks out the front window. Stevie thinks to himself: Arcosanti, the strange Arizona commune dreamed up by an Italian named Soleri never panned out. A cold hard cement station built in the 20th century. Stevieland will be a commune for the 21st century. Stevieland will be built out of gold. Stevie thinks he can see it. Out in the distance, way over there with a golden glow. He leans forward. He can't see anything so he moves past the yellow line and the bus driver starts to panic and the bus is filled with dry ice ll of the sudden and that spooky mist flows and swirls around the bus. The door opens and Stevie falls out. Falling into the golden glow. He spreads his arms and smiles.

He jolts awake to a packed bus with nothing but sullen faces. Someone is talking loudly on the phone. Talking boo boo and silly love things. Stevie dings the chord and gets off at the next stop. It's Robertson. Too far to walk to work so he waits for the next bus and has to stand until his stop at Santa Monica.

He gets to The Baron and clocks in. Work sucks. Grown Englishmen cry at the bar about losing millions in sterling. Money Stevie can only dream of, and knows that maybe one day, if he gets a rich convert, he can go to a $500 a night hotel and cry at the bar over a $18 whiskey. He clocks out and goes home.

Chapter 16

Stevie gets up at 6am and throws on his suit and runs down to the bus stop.

It's National call in Gay day. The bus is still packed at all the subway stops. Anybody and everyone stuck in the socio-economic drag called the bus is self conscious of their budget and doesn't need to miss a day of work, even if they are gay.

Stevie isn't gay, but half of his flock is. Stevie sits in the midsection and stares out the window. He glances at the banners above his seats. Nothing but Public Service announcements and phone card advertisements. Ruth and AC are stuck somewhere up front and chit chat about ways to make money. They dream up opening an outlet that lets people digitally browse all the shops in downtown. Suburbans that are afraid of it all can just come down to the outlet and browse. They'll need a couple lap tops and capital to rent a space in downtown. They'll use facebook or twitter as an auction tool to find the lowest price, until they can pay for their own auction site. They would run the shop and then hire runners to go get the item and bring it back to the buyer; at a premium.

The bus stops in Beverly Hills before you know it and they all get off. Stevie comes out the back door while AC and Ruth come out the middle door and they see each other on the sidewalk.
"Dudes." Stevie says.
"Oh Dude." AC says.
"Hola Guapo." Ruth says.

AC and Ruth tell Stevie about their idea to open an auction house for the holidays. Stevie tells them they could make more money hooking converts. Take out personals on craigslist and make sure the girls and boys keep their mouths shut. That or a bank heist.

They walk down the well manicured sidewalks and head toward The Baron.
"We need half a million to get this started." Stevie says and pushes the front doors of The Baron open. They clock in. Work Sucks. They clock out.

Chapter 15

Stevie is standing in the elevator. He touches the first floor button. It moves fast down to the lobby. He greets the morning guard and grabs a paper. It's not his paper, the guard doesn't seem to mind. He folds it and tucks it under his arm. He wants it to feel like 1992 today.

Halfway to the stop the 720 comes roaring by. Stevie starts to run. Another 720 comes rumbling by right after the first. They're running in packs today. The first bus stops and Stevie has time to get on. The second bus goes blasting by the stop and gets pole position at the red light up ahead.

Stevie finds a seat on the elevated middle section and settles in. The bus finishes taking on passengers and closes its doors and pulls up right next to the other 720. One of the drivers opens his door and the other slides open his window so they can chit chat. They talk about who's ahead of schedule and who's right on time and who cares really?

The buses take turns stopping unless a stop is requested. They leap frog down Wilshire. It's fun. The buses enter a fog bank as they drive west towards the beach. By the time they enter Beverly Hills the traffic signals seem to be floating in the air. The fog is too thick to drive fast, but the bus drivers do it anyway, hard charging down the middle lane. Stevie gets up and pulls the chord.

"Stop requested." An automated voice says.

It stops at little Santa Monica and Stevie gets off. He walks down the block to The Baron. He clocks in. Work sucks. He clocks out. The bus ride back home is boring.

Chapter 14

Stevie calls in sick

Chapter 13

It's Thanksgiving and everyone who can afford a car get's to stay home. The roads are empty. The bus, however, is running on a holiday schedule and so there are plenty of people at the bus stop. Nobody is talking. A homeless woman comes down the street talking crazy. Two or three cars zip down the street, then nothing for five minutes.

After too long the bus makes its way up 5th and is full of people from Whitier. Stevie pays his $1.25 and has to stand. He falls asleep a little bit and almost falls down when the bus cranks up the juice.

There are too many people at each stop and the bus stops anyways. It opens all the doors although no ones rang for stop, and the people come pouring in. Each and every stop they all just push themselves in. The holiday bus schedule could kill someone. A women screams from somewhere in the back. It's soon muffled by a boom box and singing from man sitting in the senior section. Some of the other passengers standing around him start dancing or bopping their heads and tapping their shoes.

Stevie grabs AC when he gets on and they share a bit of a handle.
"Happy Thanksgiving dude." Stevie says
"Wow, It is Thanksgiving, fuck, I totally forgot." AC says
"Yea," Stevie says, "I want to get the lieutenants together for dinner tonight."

They quietly ride down wilshire into Beverly Hills. The bus stops at Beverly and AC pulls Stevie off the bus. Ruth is hidden away but sees them jump off the bus and pushes and shoves her way to the exit.
"I know a shop that sells $3.00 donuts, let me buy you one." AC says
"Alto, Alto!" Ruth screams and runs up and joins them. They all walk down to the expensive donut shop on Beverly. AC buys 3 and they take Brighton back down to Spalding. The three of them tally the flock and contemplate certain sheep. AC lusts after his newest convert. Ruth is fast pushing to leave town. Stevie admits that it could take a couple more months or longer, he mentions something about a cult not being recession proof. They walk in twenty minutes late to work.

The donuts are fucking spectacular and worth the verbal/written warning. They clock in. All day long AC mentions how good the donuts are. Sam has had to listen to it all day and so on his lunch break he runs down and buys $10 worth, so like three, and doesn't share them with AC. A Bavarian chocolate cream filled, freshly made raspberry jam filled and a tigers tail the size of your arm. Work sucks. They clock out.

Chapter 12

The bus stop is cold and broken. There's not even any strange script and flashing lights. People start to collect around the bus stop and soon there are enough people for a strong arm bank heist. Stevie's head fills with ideas. He drops a couple manifestos on the ground next to the building. Inside the building is a bustling morning cafe run by some business savvy Latinos. It always looks so warm inside the cafe. Stevie contemplates juevos rancheros. but the bus comes roaring up to the stop. He lines up and gets on out of habit. His mind is in the cafe pouring some salsa on his breakfast while he digs into his slacks and pulls out $1.25, tries to put the quarter and the dollar in at the same time. It goes smoothly and he strides to his multi-colored seat in the front section.

The bus rumbles down Wilshire and hits all the potholes.

Beverly Hills has started to put up it's holiday decorations. Thanksgiving must be right around the corner.

Dammit! Stevie had hoped to be out of Los Angeles by now. Having some fantastic cult Thanksgiving out in the desert. Eating food that's been grown by the commune. Eating some turkey and pig that have been raised on the commune farm.

Stevie gets off at little Santa Monica and Wilshire and heads down to work. He wonders how he got so far off track.

He clocks in, work sucks, he clocks out and walks over to Rodeo to hand out pamphlets but the police are all over him in ten minutes. Stevie text some friends in the back of the police car while they drive him to the city limits; Doheny. He texts Sam and a couple dudes to meet him on Wilshire and they will sneak over to Whole Foods on Crescent. They do it, and put pamphlets in peoples baskets and smile and the manger throws them out.

The police are waiting outside and everyone is taken to Beverly Hills jail with charges of soliciting religion. Golden bars with the cells designed by somebody paid to much for tasteful jail cells. It's perp friendly areas to relax while the paperwork is drawn up and a $400 fine levied. They're told that if any more "Stevie Land" pamphlets are found around town, they'll come and take them to jail from The Baron and talk with the owner and make things difficult for them.

It's one in the morning when they let them go. They all catch the 704 down Santa Monica and get off in different stops.

Chapter 11

Stevie gets up on time, and takes a shower and eats breakfast. The loft is empty for once. He digs through his change jar and walks out the door. He walks down the hallway and gets in the elevator. The bell dings, doors open and he gets in. It flutters down five stories and opens and he's on the street in a second, after saying good morning to the security guard.

The sign at the bus stop says it's arriving soon. Soon takes fucking forever. Stevie zones out at the buildings across the street. They're still ugly, except somebody new has moved in and changed their window covering to a red blanket. It's bold and stands out against the ugly dirt colored building.

The bus arrives and Stevie shuffles on and pays his $1.25. There are some good seats left in the front. He sits next to a Korean woman talking on the cellphone. She's loud and he's uncomfortable. A certain mood is set.

Stevie looks out the window at the Wilmer stop. He hopes to see Ruth. She's not here. AC and Sam don't get on at the Western stop either. Stevie rides to work by himself. He fiddles with his phone, reading the NY times digitally. Something about Ireland going bust, and Iceland soon to come. No joke. Not just car companies and insurance companies, but whole countries. The bus keeps moving; Stevie turns off the paper and soon falls asleep.

He dreams the bus becomes a gigantic worm making its way down Wilshire. There are all kinds of gnats, lady bugs, flies, beetles and hornets gracefully buzzing and flying and sliding down the boulevard at 40 -60 mph.

The worm weaves in and out of insect traffic. Most of the bugs don't like to be behind the worm and buzz around it. Everyone is going to work.

The bus stops at Fairfax and lets some humans out of the gigantic worm. The worm becomes a bus again. Stevie wakes up from his warm little bus ride dream. He gets up and stands by the door, his stop is next. He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a couple pamphlets. He puts one behind the driver and another on the floor. People are always looking down on the ground.

On the Televsion he catches an Associated Press piece about a global economic crisis. Something about a Russian Credit Default Swap that caused the whole thing, well, put the whole thing over the top. The proverbial Russian Straw that breaks backs. Something about a 50 Billion dollar Ponzi Scheme and a lot of angry people.

The bus stops and Stevie gets off. Work sucks but he's glad to have it. After work he takes the bus home.

Chapter 10

The bus is taking forever today . The LED sign at the stop mentions that the bus will arrive in three minutes. The homeless are stirring in the early morning light. Some just flip over and bury their heads into their arms. Laid out on the sidewalk. They like living this way. Ti's the only way they know how. Some other more sophisticated homeless are hanging out at the Latino newspaper and magazine booth, sipping on coffee.

Traffic starts to pick up.

A city truck with hazard lights flashing pulls into the bus stop. It stops. The driver puts it in park and grabs his coffee. Two guys jump out of the back and start throwing cones around.

The 720 double parks and collects Stevie and some others. It flys down the boulevard, and seems to take all day picking up the riders at the subway stops. AC gets on and the bus is so full that they don't see each other until they get off at Santa Monica.
"Hey Dude!"
"Oh dude, I didn't even see you."
"I know."

They both wait at the signal and chit chat for a minute and it turns and they make their way to The Baron. Stevie clocks in. Works sucks. He clocks out.

Stevie and Sam head over to a chic little bar on little Santa Monica and get smashed after work. Sam mentions that guy that he met on the bus. The one that was giving him a couple digits at a time. They finally hooked up and it was amazing. Only problem is that he's Catholic. Stevie sighs and nods in agreement that Catholics are a lost cause. After they've spent all Stevies' tip money, they get back on the bus. Sam gets off at Western and Stevie rides the bus all the way downtown and gets off at Broadway and 6th.

Chapter 9

All the downtown crazies are passed out. The super crazies are still up but having conversations with themselves. Stevie gets up with enough time to shit, shower and shave. He's out the door at 6:10 and on the bus, ass in seat, by 6:17.

The television in the corner is busted and the video is just a bunch of streaks that change color every so often. It's simple to understand that the TV is broken and Stevie's brain doesn't have to think too much. It's easy for the morning, even if it is broken. Strands of colors. The television goes to snow for nano-seconds then back to streaks. The bus hits all the stops and everyone piles on and settles in.

The bus hisses and pops down Wilshire. The masses are still half asleep as they move down the boulevard.

Stevie scribbles in his notebook. He's found a resort hotel that's bank owned and on sale for a dirt cheap price. If he can just gather up $350,000 bucks, he's in business. That's just to secure the loan. Where is he going to get the money? He might just take up the ex-Scientologist on robbing the Celebrity Center. It's a bad idea, upset Scientologists are worse than the cops. Maybe someday when his cult is on par with L. Ron's empire, then he'll do it just to ruffle some feathers. But on a serious note, he needs to find the Achilles heel of Scientology and take all the converts to Stevieland. He scribbles and doodles all these ideas down.

Ruth gets on at Wilmer and sits next to Stevie. She sighs, puts her hand on his leg and tells him of three more converts over the past week. Stevie takes the names and numbers and puts them in his notebook. He gives Ruth a stock of pamphlets and a couple manifestos to edit into Spanish.

The bus slowly moves through traffic. Something has happened up ahead. The mass of people inside the bus can sense the lack of motion. The mass stirs and wipes its eyes. It looks out the window at the flashing lights and shiny fire engines. Someones hit a motorcyclist. The bus drags by the scene and when it reaches the bottleneck, several cars honk. Somebody is covered up with a yellow tarp. It picks up speed immediately and burns a little rubber out onto the open road.

Stevie and Ruth make it to work on time and clock in at 7:00 am. Work sucks.

Stevie takes the bus to Hollywood after work to pass out some fliers in front of the Hollywood/Highland complex. He's among all the costume freaks and tourist and after a while gets discouraged. It's ridiculous, there's nothing but strung out street kids here. He makes a note to hand out fliers on Rodeo drive. Rich kids with trust funds, that's what he needs.

Chapter 8

The morning alarm goes off. It's 5:30 am and Stevie hits the snooze button until 6:00. Some converts have crawled into bed with the Messiah, or so they were told last night, and he is finding it difficult to get up with so many bodies in bed. He tries to gently unwrap limbs and glide over bodies but the converts, two pretty little Latinas, start to pull and kiss and thrust their pussies about. He's trapped in an orgy and now someones taken off his shorts and is giving him a blow job. The other Latina is now a blur of flesh and titties. She swings a leg over Stevie and rubs her pussy in his face. He starts to kiss it. Hands in odd places with limbs flying through the air. The blankets have been thrown on the floor.

A mass of tits and ass and cock and then Stevie cums. The girls jockey for his sperm. One of them grabs his cock and pushes it into her pussy. She fucks with rigor and makes him cum again.

The girls flop down on the bed and talk about having a cigarette. Stevie rolls off the bed and gets dressed. No time for a shower today, he'll just have to walk around smelling like sex all day. Something to remind him of the sweet two girls he just met. Didn't that cool French guy in 'Killing Zoe' say something to the effect of it's good to smell like sex.?

Stevie looks at the clock on the microwave on the way out. It's 6:45. He's never going to make it to work on time.

He's down on the street in no time and the bus flys by him as he makes his way to the stop. He runs a block to catch it. The door closes on his ass and the driver punches it. Stevie pays and finds a seat in the back section. A lot of people. The subway stops are packed and the people come in through all the doors, swarming the bus. It seems to hit every red light. This bus is taking forever to get down Wilshire today. It's too full now. The driver seems to finally realize this and now stops short of all the stops and only lets passengers off. Sometimes he doesn't stop at all if no ones dinged the ringer.

Stevie makes it to work at 7:30. Work sucks. The bus ride home is unmemorable.

Chapter 7

Stevie gets on the bus. How did he get to the bus stop? He doesn't remember much about last night after the tequilla shots. He doesn't remember much about this morning either. He steps inside and grabs the rail, pauses to one hand his $1.25 into the money eater and turns to walk down the aisle. He waits for the bus to jerk away first. It's always that first jerk that gets you. Looking down the aisle, there are plenty of seats, five people run past, flash their passes and then run down the aisle and grab all the good seats. He tries to get to one of the last seats in the front section but is beaten out by a small Latina with a baby & stroller. She takes up the whole two seats. Putting her baby stuff on the open seat beside her, and stuffing the stroller to the wall. Stevie looks defeated, but manages to sneak a manifesto into her stroller and stands next to the first exit door.

AC gets on at the Western stop and makes his way over to Stevie. They laugh and joke as AC reminds Stevie what happened the night before. They get to work in a flash and get off the bus.

Work sucks.

On the bus ride home there is a woman screaming about Jesus and asking bus patrons sitting in the immediate area first if they speak English or Spanish. Then she chants a little bit and says some prayers in your language of choice. She won't shut up. She screams and talks in tongue until she gets off at Alvarado, which is way down the road. Sometime she'll cover her face with her scarf as if hiding from a demon. She gets up around Highland to do a little dance, but slips in what could have been the middle of the dance and almost falls down. She steadies herself and sits down; damn drunken morality pusher. Drunk on something.

The bus patrons breath a sigh of relief at Alvarado. She's gone and Stevie laughs to himself. He knows that public preaching is useless these days. People need pamphlets and golden paper with contracts and promises. The bus pulls away from the stop and Stevie watches the woman point and yell at people and collect her things. The bus takes Stevie home.

Chapter 6

The bus arrives moments after Stevie gets to the bus stop. Its fate. He's on in a flash and gets a window seat. It's fun. Today is different, it's the weekend. There isn't a work vibe. It's fun.

The television in the corner is on. Its got a commercial for a romance novella on it. Then a Latino TV piece of somebody interviewing the hottest Ranchero band. They're huge. Then some magic tricks and animals made out of fruits and other foods. There are two TVs in the bus. Stevie is sitting a couple feet from the one in the front of the bus and has to crane his neck up to see whats on. Now there are 30 second tid bits of news, information and entertainment.

The bus soars in the middle lane down Wilshire. K-town flashes by in a blur of Hanguel and now the bus stops across the street from the Wiltern. The Rolling Stones are coming soon. The bus skirts the southern edge of Hancock Park. The Masonic temple is for sale, there it goes. Large condominiums on the south side of the street and deluxe houses on the north.

The bus blasts into Beverly Hills. The T.V. is now showing Reuters and AP stories in a nice font on colorful screens. It makes reading the news fun.

Stevie dings the wire.

The bus driver looks back, he doesn't want to stop. Stevie dings the wire again. The bus driver pulls into the slow lane and hits the gas. The bus tears through Beverly Hills. Past the Ferrari shop, past the Lamborghini shop, past the Lotus shop and right past Rodeo drive and the Beverly Wilshire hotel. The bus slows and stops at little Santa Monica and no sooner than Stevies back leg clears the door, it slams and the bus takes back off; engines roaring, catching the green light.

Stevie waits for the signal and then walks down the street to The Baron. It's 7am, he clocks in. The Kuwaiti Royals have left. The Bollywood star with two thumbs is gone, too. Work sucks. He takes his normal bus back home.

Chapter 5

The bus is not coming today. A crowd is huddled around the artsy bus stop. The cryptic message on the LED screen offers no help.


KZRZRTVNN__34

People just stand there waiting. Stevie shows up around 6:17 am and a large amount of people are there. An unusual amount is waiting. Stevie stands there and waits, too. He falls asleep standing up.

A woman with a bag brushes into Stevie and wakes him up. There are even more people now. He checks for his money and his phone and then moves out of the crowd.
He sees the Metro 728 going down Spring. He runs for it. Its about a half block away and others are running for it now. He makes it while some of the others aren't so lucky. The 728 isn't that full and Stevie pays his $1.25 and makes his way to a seat. It travels down Spring until it hits Olympic and takes it west. Stevie stares out the window. All that running to catch the bus has got his blood pumping. There will be no sleeping on the bus this morning.

Stevie takes out a notepad and doodles and writes a couple tag lines for his pamphlets and edits the monthly newsletter and doodles some more. HE looks out the window. Olympic has less potholes than Wilshire, and Stevie subconsciously loves it. The metro rapid 728 hisses and pops down Olympic. It's an Olympic size bus down Olympic Boulevard. If only Stevie was that massive in size; metaphorically. He's just a misunderstood cult leader wit a sizable amount of converts; 53 as of yesterday. He needs to plan an outing. Sam, Ruth and AC are his captains and they deserve a day out at Magic Mountain or something. Maybe they'll take mushrooms at Disneyland or something bonding like that.

Who's he kidding? Nobody has any time or money these days. Only the ex-scientologist hang out and smoke dope all day. He'll have to just buy that school bus and load everyone on and break free. Ride out into the desert and start Stevieland.

He starts to crunch some numbers. He needs 20% and can get good financing using a converts credit score and signature. He just needs 20%, but that's a lot more than he has anyway. Maybe he can just rent a bus or bribe one of these guys, these metro bus drivers. The silver streak goes out to the San Gabriel Valley, that could be an idea. He'll have to do some research. He scribble these ideas down. The bus stops a quarter mile from The Baron.

He walks fast down the street to work. It sucks. He takes his normal bus back home.

Chapter 4

The 5:30 alarm goes off.

Stevies bed is nice and warm.

He hits the snooze button on his phone and snuggle right back up to his pillow. A couple of coverts that never went to sleep are making tea.
"Come on Stevie, get up." Megan coos
"Someones got to pay the bills, Stevie." Janet comes over with some hot tea and rubs Stevies back.

He looks at his phone, it's 5:33. He glances about the Warehouse space. Its spotless. These new converts are great company but total meth junkies. As long as he can keep the meth coming, they're friends for life. He gets up and gets dressed and is out at the bus stop with a packed lunch from the girls within minutes. The bus arrives a moment later and Stevie shuffles on, pays and finds a seat in the front section. The bus is just as warm and inviting as his bed. This driver really has the heater cranked up before dawn.

It's so early. Nobody is on the bus. He could have stayed in bed for at least another fifteen minutes. It's retarded early. Stevie settles in. It's so early there is no one at the stops so the bus continues through a curtain of green lights.

Green, bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Green, Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


Green lights and the bus reaches a comfortable hum and stays in motion from Downtown to Beverly Hills, only stopping once at Western Blvd.

A quiet ride only broken by the T.V. mumbling in the background and various mechanical noises. He can barely stay awake to make sure he makes his stop. He dings the line after Beverly. The bus driver looks in one of his mirrors down the aisle. Stevie gets up and makes his way to the door. He drops off a couple more pamphlets on the seats across from the door.

The bus stops. Stevie gets off. Work sucks.

After work Stevie, Sam, AC are contemplating a movie for later that night but nobody can commit to anything so they have a drink at the hotel bar and go they're separate ways

Chapter 3

The LED lights on the bus stop tell Stevie it's going to be 4 minutes until the next bus. He stands there. It's nice out. He shifts his backpack from shoulder to shoulder. He takes a deep breath and studies the building across the street. It's ugly. It's the start of another day and everything this new morning stands for is out in play. The options are unlimited. It's a brand new day and Stevie has to go to work. His options are limited, he can't afford not to go to work. He needs the money so bad to pay for all his bills and publishing and dating.

Several other people arrive at the bus stop. They hover around. The traffic reverberates off the buildings. Voices float down the street. Shop owners spray down the sidewalk and get ready for another day of business.

The bus finally comes barreling down the street. Everyone shuffles on. The ones with bus passes skirt past the line and get the good seats. Stevie waits in line and pays his $1.25, puts some brochures up on the rack behind the driver and finds a seat next to a Latina that looks sound asleep.

Stevie settles in and soon falls asleep too.

The bus rumbles down the street. Green lights, potholes and flourescent lights. The bus continues on it's never ending journey down Wilshire. It's traveling fast in the slow lane. It's missing signals and crossing lights by inches. This driver really knows the size of his bus.

Sam gets on at Western with the rest of the subway crowd. The bus is packed but he seems to elbow his way through the crowd once he spots Stevie. Stevie is asleep and Sams mind races with all the ways he can disturb him. He decides to keep it cool and taps him on the shoulder and asks in a old Mexican womans voice if he can have the seat. Stevie pretends to sleep. Sam is persistant until Stevie finally grumbles something and gets up only to find that Sam has stolen his seat.
"Gracias." Sam says
"You're an asshole, Sam."

The bus finally arrives in Beverly Hills and they get off and head to The Baron.
Stevie Clocks in. Work Sucks. At 3:30 and not a moment earlier or later there is flurry of ID cards swiped into the time clock. AC and Stevie make plans to meet up later and talk about raising some money for the cause.

Stevie and Sam are the only ones that head over to the bus stop after work. It's hot out and the hotel suits make it extra hot. They stand with their backs against the Beverly Hilton and cook in the sun. The bus appears out of a mirage. IT's coming out of Westwood, packed with students. As it gets closer, it becomes more apparent that there is no room left on the bus. The driver stops the bus and opens all the doors. The kids in the back fight the doors to keep them shut, but they buck them off and open up. Sam and Stevie jump on and cram inside.

The bus ride home is uncomfortable.

Chapter 2

The bus is empty when Stevie steps on in downtown. The seats are unobstructed so the colors beam across the bus. Each seat has a rainbow of colors that are bright and cheery and they bring to mind toucans and tropical days on the beach. Stevie puts in his $1.25 and strides down the aisle trying to enjoy his early morning commute. The bus lurches forward and the doors slam while he looks for a seat in the midsection.

none of the others in the gang catch this bus along Wilshire this morning. It barely stops at the subway stops and continues at a breakneck pace down Wilshire. The bus is blowing through yellow lights as everyone sleeps quietly.

Stevie wakes up as the bus roars through Beverly Hills. He has to pull the wire and dings the bus into a higher state of conciousness. A computerized voice explains what stop is coming up and asks that riders exit through the back doors. He walks up to the front of the bus and places some fliers in a plastic case behind the driver. "Stevie Land" is now back in stock and free on certain select Metro Rapids in the Los Angeles area. He throws a couple onto some empty seats and then exits before the doors close on him.

Stevie joins a small group of people at the signal. They all wait for it to change. A small man punches the button to make the signal turn. He punches it soft and fast as if he were playing a video game. The signal finally turns and everyone walks across the street.

He goes to work and clocks in. Work sucks.


He clocks out and comes back to the same signal and walks up the street to catch the eastbound red/white superbus. It takes an hour to get back downtown and its full of screaming highschool kids taking classes at UCLA or just being bussed all over town. Damn kids. There's never any seats until Western, so Stevie stands there and tries to mind his own business. Sometimes he'll chat up a lonely individual, but mostly he looks out the window, and dreams. Ruth is the one that gets converts on the bus. This is her territory, Stevie just likes to enjoy himself and unwind from the stupid workday.

The Rise and Fall of Stevieland - Book One

Stevie stands there on Fifth and Broadway to catch the bus. Here it comes now. Everyone scrambles on. It takes off. That fucking bus. Everyday Stevie sits there and bumps along Wilshire. Half asleep with someone else half asleep sitting next to him. They keep falling asleep and lean into each other, then snap themselves awake. The bus keeps growing in size. The masses are waiting at the subway stops down the way and that's when things really get stuffy. The bus zooms down the street towards Vermont. The first of the subway stops. There are too many people so everyone crams inside anyways because they're all in such a hurry to get somewhere. Some people are helpful and move to the back of the bus, others clog the aisle with rolling bags and overly cheerful attitudes about how sorry they are. Stevie is happy to have a seat and not deal with the madness in the aisles. The bus makes its way west along Wilshire. It stops at Crenshaw and picks up a few more people.

The metro rapid picks up speed. Stevie saw Ruthy get on at Alvarado and said hello but she didn't hear him. She's standing a few rows back now and recognizes him and walks up the isle to stand next to him. They say hello and chit chat a bit. The bus stops and more people are getting on. Like three people have gotten off for the hundred that have gotten on. The bus swells and continues it's way down the boulevard. It's a good time. A.C. gets on at the La Brea Stop and he's with Sam today. They immediately see Stevie and Ruth and form a cluster around a section of seats by the second exit and the gang includes some tan Latino that's dozing off. Sam is busy chatting up some cougay.

"Dudes, i can't believe we all made the same bus," AC says, "this must mean today is the day."
"Sé. Nunca nos vemos en el mismo autobús. Todos los capitanes están en el mismo autobús hoy."
"It is strange Ruth, Today must be the day!" Stevie says.
"Si, hoy es el dia." Ruth says.

The bus rumbles through Hancock Park and into Beverly Hills. There's not much traffic today. It's labor day. The bus is busting at the seams on the holiday schedule and its reached it's capacity around Fairfax. Now it's starting to lose people as it moves into Beverly Hills. Some at Robertson, more at Beverly and still more at Santa Monica. That's the crews' stop at little Santa Monica Blvd. and Wilshire so they all squeeze toward an exit . Sam almost gets caught on the bus trying to get his older boyfriends mobile number.

"Did you get his number?" AC asks.
"No, he said it was too early to be flirting, but that I was cute and he'll give me a couple digits every time we see each other," Sam says, "Today I got the area code 753, where is that?"
"Puta." Ruth says.
"Slut." Stevie says.

They all scuffle down the street toward the hotel where they work. Ruth is a housekeeper, AC is a front desk clerk, Stevie is a Bellhop and Sam is the Reservation Manager with too many DUI's. They all work at The Baron. A small boutique hotel. It's got about 51 rooms with a pool. There's a small restaurant and bar in the lobby. The pride of Beverly Hills. First place out of all 16 hotels in Beverly Hills as rated on Vay-Kay.com. It's so strange because everyone hates their day job. How could a top rated hotel be run by people that hate it so much? It made no sense. As with everyone in Los Angeles, the desk staff yearned for more. One was a Socialist with a big ego, one a digital editor, another a playwright and another one that wanted to be a full time mother. They're almost to the hotel now.

It's warm out and the sky is clear and blue.

They walk through the employee entrance and put on their work personas. AC relieves the night auditor and sits behind the front desk. Ruth heads downstairs to prep the laundry. Sam goes to his back office to do whatever middle management does and Stevie posts up next to the curb with his shiny uniform on.

Beverly Hills sparkles.

The day is filled with day-dreaming. Stevie yearns for a cult like existence in a luxury commune. On his lunch break he will sneak around to a computer in the reservation room and types up his manifesto. AC works on his TV show idea about a black "Melrose Place" and is trying to find a new internship because the one he has now is miserable. Ruth talks on the phone with her kids. Sam has brought his editing equipment to work because he knows that it's going to be slow and he can edit some of these shit student films and the more lucrative porn movies when no one is in the office.

The day floats by on golden fluffy clouds with emerald pillows encrusted into them. Stevie stands next to his shiny golden bell cart and smiles a smile that shows he's lost his dream. Work Sucks. His commune out in the desert running on clean energy is so far away and today the afternoon arrives and brings other workers to relieve the morning crew. That's all it ever brings. Ben, the Kiwi, relieves AC and Kirk relieves Stevie. They all stand around the time clock and wait for the 3:30pm. Ruth shows up and the clock turns. There is a flurry of employee ID card swiping and then they're off. After work they all head their different ways.

Stevie heads off to the Dirty Martini to chat up locals about his new religion. and collect numbers. It's a big Scientology hangout and he hopes to get the strays or the jaded fall outs. He likes the dedication of the scientologist. Typically signing up for 400 million lifetimes. AC heads off to the gym to work out and Sam joins him. Ruth is going home to see her kids.

Two Months down ten to go!!

The picture is from the inauguration which is the only thing i will post here until i run out of those pictures. The concert at Lincoln Memorial and I think John Cougar Melloncamp is playing. Is that how you spell his name? Melancamp. I should google it, but I'm lazy. Okay it's neither. It's Mellencamp. Whatever. Fuck you 2009! I'll spell shit however I want too.

Come on 2009! Get the fuck out of here.

You're like an American on Halloween in Berlin!!!

Stock market is bottoming out! Or is it just nosediving! Wait until unemployment hits 10% nationwide?!? Keep those jobs people. They'll pay back double your trouble soon. I just want to know one thing. Is it cool to be an American in Puerto Rico? I mean, we own the place. I'm moving to Puerto Rico where jobs grow on trees and outdoor mall shopping and drinks before noon is the name of the game.
I must apologize. I've totally been lagging on several things. The band is lost. The other lead singer/keyboardist got moved to the Arizona/Utah border. We will never see her again.
And Yacht Club. I can't believe I've only been once. I'm totally going to yacht club more.

Okay.
2009 will be the year to get that horrible novel out of your system.

I'm writing:

"The Rise and Fall of Stevieland."

It's about a utopian fascist hotel out in death valley. It runs on solar power death rays from the sun. Whatever. I still need to rewrite all the others. Maybe that's what I'll do in the next 10 years. I'll rewrite a book a year. Be on the lookout for the 10 year anniversary Brailovsky Box set. Be sure to order yours early and you will get:


Hollywood 2000
Jean-Marc
The Race
Icon
Summer Novella 2004
Venice Via Venice
Skyscraper
Ship Of Fools
The Lofty Riches

and The Rise And Fall Of Stevieland

in a special box set.

The cost is 450 American Dollars.

Shannons new Dude, Eric the Liar

Here's a picture of where I was standing when it all went down.
Then I came home and found out that Shannon was dating some hot new Berlin Boy and when I mentioned him on the phone like that "How's your Berlin Boy?" She got all upset and used that strange tone that she does and said "Boy?"

Whatever.

We all met up at Yacht Club last night and talked about things and they tried to tell us that they don't celebrate Halloween in Berlin and I didn't want to call him a liar to his face, so I waited for him to go get a drink and then called him one to the side of his face.

Halloween is everywhere.
Now that I've got that off my chest, let's work on making new connections this year and bringing back some of the old connections. I hope to be posting funny funny funny pics of Yacht Club every Saturday morning. Yacht Club is the dance club that the Rosencrantz kids throw over there at the Bronson bar in Hollywood.