A Handy Guide To Finding Yourself

A Handy Guide To Finding Yourself

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Real California Cows Get Real Japanese Radiation


A March 25 radiation reading from milk in Spokane, Wash. -- 0.8 picocuries per liter -- is more than 4,000 times less than that of a normal banana, which naturally contains radioactive potassium.
"Radiation is all around us in our daily lives, and these findings are a minuscule amount compared to what people experience every day," FDA senior scientist Patricia Hansen said in a statement.

Great.  Just Great.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Never Never Boys


STRANGE LITTLE THINGS

Sabby puts the paperwork into the proper files and then places them in the night audit drawer and turns to the TV.  She get's comfortable in a big puffy leather chair in the lobby and cruises the infomercial channels.  There's a salesman that is touting his magic device can cut vegetables and fruit all day and then cut through a car if you need it to.  Sabby turns the channel.  Somebody is wrapped up tight in a blanket that can also turn into a tent and has an electronic heater.  But wait!  If you order now! They are gonna send two of them,   Wow!  Sabby turns the channel.  This next saleswoman is touting his book collection and letting everyone know that they too can be rich beyond there wildest dreams if they would just send him 3 easy payments of $29.99.
"Rich beyond my wildest dreams," Sabby says to herself and sinks deeper into the leather chair.
The TV reception goes in and out.  Sabby changes the channel and it's the same on every channel.  Must be the reception.  Finally the TV goes completely out.  A blank screen with a message on it that state: "Satellite is reconfiguring...please wait."
Sabby turns off the TV and makes her way into the kitchen.  She's up for a little late night snack.  All kinds of goodies for all the guests line the pantry.  Sabby picks out some cookies and then makes her way to the fridge to get some milk.  
She reaches up into the cabinet to get a glass and finds all the glasses are gone.  She uses a ceramic mug instead.  On her way out to the lobby she notices a slight breeze through the house. 
"Where is this draft coming from?" Sabby thinks to herself, "Maybe Mr. Peter left the door open."
Walking toward the front door she notices that all the window panes in the entire house are gone.  There's no glass in the windows.  Where has all the glass gone? The wind is bringing in rain with it now, and some leaves.
Now the breeze through the has become stronger and reversed.  Something is sucking the air out of the house.   Sabbys' hair is flying around her face and as she tries to get it under control, she can see a bright white  light coming from the distance out off the front porch.
Some kind of animal made of light is prancing and dancing out in the front yard.  Sabby runs for the front door in all the madness and once out on the front porch she can see it.
A horse made of glass and full of light.  Now the light changes from white to red to blue.  It's looking right at her.
Then she wakes up.  
"Oh what a dream," Sabby remarks, "I better write this down.  A glass horse that glows different colors! Nobody is going to believe this, wait till I tell Jennifer."
Sabby heads back over to the front desk and grabs her notebook.  She jots down all the details of her dream.  That horse wanted to say something to me, she thinks to herself.  The notes turn to doodling and drawings of the creature.  
That's when Mr. Peter comes back.  This time he makes a lot of noise and scuffs his way up the steps.
Sabby instinctively closes her notebook and greets Mr. Peter.  
"Good Night Mr. Peter."  Sabby says
"Yes, Good Night, Sabby," Peter says, "See you in the morning."

Get your QR on

qrcode

There it is.  There ya go.  Hello QR.  Get out your smart phone and ...well, first you'll need a QR reader.  But imagine this.  I don't have to come up with content to market.  I can market this.  So get a QR code maker like the following.

Kaywa

Kerem Enkram

are a couple good ones.
You take a pic and then it's going to take you to a splash page or any kind of digital content.

Some great QR code readers i-nigma or barcode scanner or red laser or just search QR reader in the APP store.

Fun Owls

Burn Riyadh Burn

Yes. You.  You guys can take your oil and shove it.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Royksopp @ Wiltern

The Never Never Boys



It's just after midnight and quite a storm has been brewing off the coast.  Most of the townsfolk in Bidderton have shuttered themselves in tight for the night.   A small town on the west coast.  Halfway inbetween San Francisco and Los Angeles and smack dab in the middle of nowhere.  The town is fast asleep but lights still flicker on at the Bidderton Inn.  A wayward outpost for the travel weary and sometimes just a local spot for husbands to stay when the wives have thrown them out.  

The night clerk shifts uncomfortably in her chair as lightning and thunder break the silence.  Sabby, is her name.  Her uncle owns and operates the Bidderton Inn and tonight Sabby has agreed to watch the Inn while her uncle takes a well deserved rest.  Just last week the Inn was overrun by dolphin enthusiasts and Poor Uncle Sid was run ragged with requests.

Nothing to watch on TV after the Late Night Talk Shows but infomercials, which Sabby secretly likes, so she turns down the volume on the TV and stares out the window.

It's time to run the numbers for the hotel.  Nothing like using a little Algebra late at night to get the noodle working.  Sabby runs through the numbers like a champ.  She's always been good in math.   It's only a 10 room hotel, anyways, so it's not like the night audit work is that complicated.  Besides that there are only 3 guests staying in the hotel and two of them are permanent guests.  Mr. Alex and Mr. Jacque.  They like Bidderton with it's dry climate and the fresh salt water air.

The Third guest is a strange pale fella by the name of Mr. Peter.  That's how Sid likes to run the show.  Everyone is Mr. and then their first name.  Uncle Sid says it's to make the guest feel at home, yet still be respectful. 

Thunder and Lightning.

The Bidderton Inn is a four story building with a tower and a courtyard and a pool.  It's a glorious Victorian building that has seen it's golden day.  The last time it was painted was a decade ago.  It has large Pepper Trees that hides it from the street and it's neighbors.  The yard is properly maintained but there is always so much work for Sid to do and although Sabby helps, they are both overworked.

Sabby finishes up the paperwork, stapling and sorting out papers.  That's when Mr. Peter comes downstairs and wonders around in the lobby.  It's so strange.  Usually Sabby can hear someone walking into the lobby, this old house creaks so much, but Mr. Peter is silent as a mouse.

Sabby calls out to him when she see's him by the window.

"Hello Mr. Peter," Sabby says, "Boy, you sure are a quiet one."

"Good Evening Sabby, " Mr. Peter says, "I couldn't sleep with all this thunder, I think I'll go out, do you know of any bars open?"

"Bars?  There's the biker bar along route 1, but that's it and It's raining cats and dogs out there," Sabby says,
"you should at least take an umbrella if you go out."

"Thank You Sabby."  Mr. Peter takes an umbrella from the stand next to the front doors and turns around and waves to Sabby and then steps outside.

Sabby makes a note in the front desk book ~ Mr. Peter went out in the Rainstorm around 12:45am.  Then she returns to her paperwork.  Maids reports, monthly projections and figuring out the Average Daily Rate.  She's 19 and all that Algebra, Trig and Geometry have really helped.  She's not going to take any math when she goes to college.  Where ever that may be.  She's got a year off and Uncle Sid is being so cool to let her work at his Inn.  She's met so many interesting people.  Like that traveling entertainment group that sang childrens songs and lived in a bus most of the time, but needed a place to shower every once in a while.  Mr. Greg had tried to lure her into joining the troop, but Uncle Sid was having none of it.

Sabby laughs to herself as she thinks about Uncle Sid protesting and promising to sell the hotel and join the band, too.

That would have been fun.  Uncle Sid and Sabby and the Kitty Cat Claw Band on the road.

It's a quiet town.

Nothing much happens here.  Well, there was last summer.  Love and Excitement with Brett, but then he fell in love with Jaenine and forget about those two.  Stupid Boys.

"I hate boys!" Sabby says to no one in particular.

Innovation



The Cool Cats over at LAX car share are on top of their game in the rental car market.

We're excited to offer some of our eBooks free of charge to their clients but we haven't finalized the finalities and all that jazz.

Venice Via Venice

Venice via Venice                                                                                            

More Hotel Stories in Japanese for @redcross

ホテルストーリー                                                                                            

Monday, March 28, 2011

Thursday, March 24, 2011

"I aint even got near that amount of Money," He says, "Let's go."

I'm furiously typing away for Jeffy Jeffster trying to write him a proper corporate letter and thats when I hear the Elevator doors open.  They are situated around the corner so I never see the guest until they walk a few feet out of the elevator.  A young kid in a light blue hoodie walks into view and I great him with a hearty welcome and ask for a last name.

  I'm so into my routine that I don't notice his lady creep out of the elevator and sit down.  I'm already into a half twist in my executive chair, with my hands in the air for added effect, looking at the reservations that I've laid out earlier and wait for the gentleman to give his name.

"Uhhhhh."  He says.

   I immediately change gears.  Pulling my hands down, I twist the chair back to look at him and I find a them both standing in the lobby looking kinda freaked out.  His girl, 19, is a wreck.  Her thick brown hair is dreaded and matted to her face.  She's sweating.  She's clutching to a dirty brown blanket and stares wide eyed right thru me.

   Ahhhh. The good ol' days.

   I know the price will knock them out, so there's no need to pull the whole "We're Sold Out" routine.  I tell them without a credit card we need a $100 deposit and the room in $120 including tax, so that's $220 right off, and they'll get the $100 back in the morning as long as they don't fuck up the room.


They both wince.  "I ain't even got near that amount of Money," He says, "Let's go."

   I tell them that there's a place down the street that has rooms for $55.  He tells me he already went there and they told him they were "Sold out".  I tell him to try the other place, there's 4 of them on this block alone, and this time, have the girl wait around the corner and you get the room and then come back and get her.  Once you have the room, it's too late.  I tell them that I love em, but they can't stay and join/escort them down the elevator to the street.  I walk with them to the sidewalk and point them in the direction of a blue building.  The Golden Tower Motel.  I even point out a spot where the girl can hide and he can go in and get the room.  He tells me she just had a stroke a week ago.  I tell them to lay off the dope and maybe she'll stop having stokes and he just walks off.  The girl has been babbling the entire time.  I say goodbye to her and she babbles some more and then limps off.  I notice she's got one shoe on and the other foot is bleeding.  I didn't notice it before. I wave one last time goodbye and go and grab the mop.

Uh Oh

Cory Nichols staying at the Hotel

What's a newly minted musical writer doing at our lovely hotel?!?  He's here for the LA music awards.  He has a great article about Gretchen Wilson on Jam Magazines website.


Click HERE for link.


He'll be doing an article on Jeff Beck at the Fillmore next.

Bianca La Fortunata

Bianca La Fortunata                                                                                            

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Freedom Fries for Libya

Oh No.  What is going on?  Can't a rebellion take care of it's own shit?  Well, Sarkozy was hoping that this would boost his political power.  Nope.  Le-Penns daughter is going to take Frances top job in the next election.  Get ready for some crazy French Crusading.   Well, at least Sarkozy will have more time to spend with his super model, singer, actress wife.  Viva Freedom Fries.  Also, get ready for NATO to fall apart.  Thanks for nothing Italy.

Finding the Authors at Chateau Marmont

Monday, March 21, 2011

Read a Classic


Henry Miller ~ The Tropic of Cancer

Rebel Yell


Here's some of the Libyan Rebels.  Whoooo.  Buncha drugged out Al-Qaeda Members, or so Kadafi would have us believe.  They could be from South L.A.

Hot New Ebooks on the Horizon

Hello.
We've compiled a list of people that we want to work with or are working with and what we're working on with them.

T. Carsley ~ Daddy, What are you making now? Series
R. Witt ~ "Dog Shift"
K. Ebsary ~ Comedy Book
Ivotopia ~ Painting book
G. Decantillion ~ MTA King
J. Dambacher & C. Webber ~ Duel Book
S. Heinstein ~ Bianca La Fortunata
E. Crossman ~ "Nights, Lights and Never Lonely" Photography Las Vegas eBook

We're a little busy.

Viva the digital age.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Toyota Prius Supply




Just got a call from Rocky down at the Toyota Dealership in Santa Monica.  Now, it might just be a sales trick, but Rocky was telling me that with the problems in Japan, there might be a run on the Prius and a lack of Supply might bring up the price.



Yowzers!

Come on America particularly California, let's pick up the slack with Teslas! 

Item of the Week ~ CEO tennis


Need to get out and play tennis with other mover and shakers.

Should go to the Horse Races once a Month, while the races are at Santa Anita.

Invest in a horse.

Business Brunches.

It's just so damn hard to try to get something up and going when all I see and hear about is how Japan just got hit with a Massive 8.9 Earthquake and the following Tsunami killing so many people.  Then the Nuclear Reactors are offline, and there could be a possible MELTDOWN, but that hasn't happened yet.  Rolling Black outs.  Random Wild Fires throughout the city.  The people are running out of food and water and soon there will be all kinds of disease with the dead being out in the street.

The Tsunami was 30 Meters high.

Now we've got the Volcanos involved, and also the Nikkei index is down 633 points, which is 6%.  That's their stock market.  Japan, the worlds 3rd largest economy has taken a major hit.




Thursday, March 10, 2011

Take an American Vacation this year


Get around your country and check things out. We've clocked some great Hawaiian Vacation ideas. 7 Days in the beginning of May for like $1550 for 2 people. That's less than $100 per person per day, including airfare, round trip.

Amazo!

Another great vacation idea is flying out to Orlando and doing Disney World and then drive all the way to Key West and then back to Miami.

That's less than $1,000 buck-a-roos.

Where else is fun tropical fun fun. There are some really great cruise ideas also. All kinds of islands in the sea and we've got to check out some of them. Maybe instead of driving to Key West, we jump on a cruise liner in Ft. Lauderdale and enjoy a little 5 day cruise. They're like $500.

Or you could chance it and go to Mexico and get disappeared by some drug gang.

Good night everyone.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

More Coffee Please

Great Russian Propaganda Piece



We'd also like to know who the guy from Encino is, halfway through the tape.  The one that had to hitch hike and eventually found a ride to avoid bombs and sniper fire.  What is really going on?  Where did all these toyota's get those Red Tribal Racing Stripes?  Are we buying them in bulk for the rebels and they just happen to have that cool decal or did we put that decal on there.

If that's all America is doing, then that's cool.  Cuz every rebellion needs cool trucks.  Some are really nice.  Like Land Cruisers with a PickUp bed big enough for a Anti~Aircraft Gun.

I think America bought them for the Afghanis during their war with the Russians!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Leprechaun Babes

Leprechauns are real. 

They hide a pot of gold and if you're lucky enough to meet one, then that means he's on vacation from hiding his pot.  Let's face it.  You're not even looking for a Leprechaun.  You're too busy facebooking on your smartphone.

Whatever.




There's also another kind of Leprechaun.  This ones hides a pot of gold as well.  You're more likely to run into one of these Leprechauns.



And here's whats she's doing later...


Monday, March 7, 2011

Where were you in the 90's?

Now that's an Air Strike!!



Sweet Lord! What is going on over there?!?  We read last night the country is divided into 2.  East and West.  The Rebels hold the East, while the Libyan Government (Intelligence forces, Qaddafi himself or the army?) holds the West.  One of the main towns on the line is Bin Jawwad.
That's where the shit is hitting the fan.

Wow.

If the Rebels can take Bin Jawwad, they've got a good chance of taking or laying seige to Surt and that will pave the way to Tripoli!  Viva the Revolution!  Down with Tryanny!

If you're for the movement and have a camera and some balls, then Benghazi is for you.  Get over there and get the story straight.


Let's hope those Rebels can march into the Halls of Tripoli.

Don't give them any help.  They've already repelled a British force that was there under the guise to set up communication with the rebels and the outside world.  Rebels don't have radio stations so this is an important step.  Good for you Brits!  It also seemed they were doing some other shady government stuff so Follow the story HERE  

To recap:

Libya is in the grips of a civil war.
1k-2k dead.
Rebels have enough juice for 2-3 weeks.
Country split in 2 ~ Right down the middle.
Qaddafi in stage 3/4 of Revolution: The "But, I'm King." Dance.  Just a little more violent than some of the others.

What are the other stages you ask?

Stage 1:  Local Public Protest
Stage 2:  International Attention and International Protest
Stage 3:  "But, I'm King" Dance
Stage 4:  Exit from Power ~ Usually to Switzerland

I wonder where the new club house will be for all these deposed African Kings?  Switzerland?  Where else?  Venezuela, maybe?  Ahhhh, El Sol!