USC will face Illinois in the Rose Bowl.Okay. Today the Bruins play the Trojans at the Coliseum. Game starts at 1:30. I've clocked horrible seats for $135 a piece. There's parking that's more expensive than those seats. I've also clocked some great seats behind the USC bench on the 47 yard line. Those run $1349 per ticket. It's worth every penny though. Why don't you just spend about $600 a ticket and we'll get you close to the 20 yard line. Come down to the Dirty Hot Hotel and stay for a fraction of the ticket price and get drunk! You better hope USC gets to go to the Rose Bowl. Here's an idea. Try not to gamble on the game, I know 20 points seems like a good spread. Shit, why don't you just bet everything on UCLA. You know they're gonna cover the spread. 20 POINTS! Don't forget last year UCLA upset USC. 20 points is too much. I'm going to call my booky after this post.
I could also get you a 30 person luxury suite in Maryland for the Army vs Navy game. That's a little over $29,000, and catering is extra. If you're still in L.A. it's too late, you'll never make the game.
I went to UCSB so I could really give a shit about either game.
Let's just hope you tip well. Did you need a limo to the coliseum? Here, it's just another $150 bucks. What is money anyway? What is it with you? You're gonna love the time you spent here. Don't forget to take some pictures to remember for later.
Afterwards you can stumble over to the Edison and pretend like you know Justin and wish him a happy 3rd Decade. BTW I'm sorry I forgot about Cake at the Orpheum last night. That must have been a kick ass show.
